He’s not the father! - DNA test result reveals mother’s deception

For six years, Bob* lived what he now calls a nightmare, believing he was the father of a child who, as it turned out, was not his.

Almost 10 years ago at age 28, Bob learnt that he was about to become a first-time father. This news was a bit concerning because the woman who claimed he impregnated her was not his partner. Nonetheless, he was overjoyed and, from the moment he heard the news, he embraced the idea wholeheartedly.

"When she tell mi she did pregnant, despite everything, mi did excited and mi tell everybody, all a mi friends and family because a mi first, and I was happy to be a father," Bob explained, adding that his partner eventually left him after learning of his affair.

Still, Bob was determined to be a good father, and,, while working in the hotel industry, Bob did everything he could to support the mother and child in Kingston.

"I made sure the baby had everything - bath pan, baby clothes, all of that. I even send money for the mother to go to her clinic appointments," he explained. But after his daughter was born, the mother became distant, only contacting Bob when she needed money. She even made it difficult for Bob to see the child when he was in Kingston. However, when the child got older, and after much protest, Bob introduced her to his family, who embraced her with open arms. Yet, something always felt 'off'.

"No matter how hard I tried, we just could not bond, it was like she resented me. I don't know what her mother was telling her but we just never had a bond, even though my family loved her and she loved them. With me, it was almost like she hated me," Bob shared.

Despite the emotional distance, Bob continued to financially support the child, sending as much as $20,000 every fortnight out of his $26,000 salary. But, any time he faced financial difficulties, the child's mother would threaten him with court. One day, police officers showed up at his workplace with a summons to appear in Family Court.

"It was so embarrassing, because the police come and ask for me and people start ask questions. Suh, yuh know news spread fast, so everybody did have it to say that I wasn't taking care of the child, which wasn't true," Bob said.

Although Bob had doubts about the child's paternity from the beginning -- since the mother had another partner at the time they met -- he chose to believe her when she said the child was his. But, when the child turned six, a shocking revelation from the mother's sister changed everything. She gave Bob the contact number of the 'other man', and their conversation confirmed his worst fears.

"The man could a tell me everything. He even told me which day she get pregnant -- after they had sex. And that's when mi mek up mi mind say mi need a DNA test," Bob said.

Bob wanted to do a paternity test years earlier but couldn't afford the $42,000 price tag. This time, he found Polygenics Consulting, which offered a payment plan, allowing him to pay $30,000 in three instalments. When the results came back, the truth shattered him.

"When mi see the results, I was enraged. And, instantly, I started resenting her. Mi nah lie, it even cross mi mind fi hurt her. It was actually the counsellor from Polygenics that helped me to work through mi rage and help mi work on forgiving her," Bob admitted.

After that, Bob cut all ties with the mother and stopped supporting the child. A year later, she reached out, questioning how he could walk away after all those years.

"I was shocked when she called me because, after everything weh she duh, I don't know how she could find the heart to ask me such a question. But I told her that she really hurt mi, and mi just couldn't do it. The child was innocent, yes, but, after everything she put me through and how she traumatised mi, I couldn't be a part of the little girl's life," Bob said. He did, however, offer to help pay for another DNA test to determine the child's real father.

Now, nearly 10 years later, Bob still feels the weight of his experience. Today, he has an eight-year-old son, but, this time, he made sure to do a DNA test right away.

"I'm sorry, but, after everything I've been through, I had to know for sure. And any other that's coming after him, mi a get dem tested because I refuse to go through that again," he said firmly.

Bob also told THE WEEKEND STAR that he believes mandatory paternity testing at birth would prevent situations like his. However, he acknowledges that implementing such a law would come with challenges.

"Trust me, going through this was not easy, and this kind of thing can literally drive a man crazy. But the reality is, if that becomes law, wi a guh need more social workers, more counsellors, because crime and violence a guh increase. Some women a guh end up homeless wid dem kids, and a whole heap a problem a guh come outta it," Bob explained.

In a groundbreaking partnership with Polygenics Consulting, THE STAR is offering free paternity testing to 12 families in a six-month programme, aimed at solving paternity mysteries. This, Bob believes, is a crucial initiative that will help many men finally get closure.

"I strongly believe that these kind of partnerships are essential because it will make a serious difference. More persons can find out the truth and get peace of mind."

*Names changed to protect identity