My mother loves my boyfriend

Dear Pastor,

I am 23 years old and my boyfriend is the same age. I can say that we are in love. When I first met him, I did not love him at all. He was too show-off.

He was always wearing tight pants and everything had to match. But I noticed that other girls admired him, so I decided to give him a try.

The first time we kissed, I realised he didn't have much experience. He told me that he had made out with only a couple of girls.

One evening I took a whole hour to teach him what to do. He asked me where I learned to do these things and I told him nobody taught me.

Pastor, he is very bright. I didn't get a good grade in math, so he helped me and I got a two.

He is still living at home and I am also living at home. My parents love him and my mother is hard to please. When I invited him home, he came well dressed, still dressed in tight pants with everything to match. My mother loved that.

ASKED HIM QUESTIONS

My mother is a medical doctor and she asked him all types of medical questions, including whether he is having sex with other women, and he answered them all. I was embarrassed because she did it in my presence. I was upset, but didn't show it.

My mother told me that she did not want him to lie to me, so that is why she asked him these questions in my presence.

She did not ask him if we were having sex. I would have died on the spot if she had asked him that. In talking about him, my mother said that she knows him more than I think.

He is working and going to school at the same time. I am not good at books. I don't like books. I do things with my hands. My aim is to be an architect.

People say that I am beautiful. I feel that way, too. His parents love me, but they are divorced. He gets along with both of them. He is even talking about getting married in the next five years.

My mother says that that is a good time because by that time, I would know whether or not we are really in love with each other.

We had sex for the first time on Valentine's Day. It happened at my house because my parents were away for the weekend. Both of us fell asleep after having sex, but in the middle of the night when he woke up, he went home because he has never slept out. I was impressed with that.

DON'T WANT TO PLAY AROUND

This is the second guy I was having sex with and I don't want to play around with any other man.

When we were finished having sex and I asked him how he was feeling, he said, "Couldn't be better, you are my wife". Pastor, why did he say that?

I had promised myself never to tell a man I had sex, but I did say to him while we were in bed that I am not a virgin. Pastor, do you think I am bad?

S.E.

Dear S.E.,

I do not consider you a bad girl. But I want to discourage you from going from man to man. Your present boyfriend seems to come from a good family and is trained. He has manners and knows how to carry himself well.

I am glad your mother likes him; and your side of the family like him, too.

Your mother knew what type of questions to ask this young man. If he did not answer them well, she would have told you. She knows that his sexual history is important. She doesn't want you to be infected by any STIs. She is a wise doctor. She didn't want this young man to lie to you. That is why she questioned him in your presence.

I beg you, keep your head high. You know what you would like to be in a few years. Pursue your goals and objectives.

I don't expect you to throw yourself around. If you do, you would be throwing away a good relationship with this guy. I wish both of you well.

Pastor