My man's best friend paid me for sex

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and I am a regular reader of your column. I have a boyfriend, and he has a friend who he calls his best friend. He asked his best friend to do something for me, and while we were together, his best friend told me how much he likes me and that I must not tell my boyfriend what we talked about. I told him that I could not promise him that, but then I told him I wouldn't tell my boyfriend what it is.

He told me that he would love to have sex with me even if he would have to pay for it. I told him that he was crazy. He told me that he always admires the way I walk and I have lovely hips. He said that he doesn't have to have intercourse with me, he would pay me just to have oral sex with me. I told him I would think about it, but I didn't mean it when I told him so.

Every time he saw me after that, he asked me if I was still thinking about it. Last month my boyfriend was laid off from his job, and the rent needed to be paid. We did not have any money at all, so I called this man and asked him if the deal still stands and he said yes. So, I told him to move up the amount from $20,000 to $25,000. He asked if I was serious and I told him yes.

I needed the money, and I was also testing him to see if he would go through with it. He picked me up during my lunch time, and I asked him for the money; he pulled out $20,000. I was nervous because I have never cheated on my boyfriend, but there was no money in the house. He did not have any condom, so I refused to have sex with him. He left me in the room and went for condoms and came back.

I told him I changed my mind. He started to quarrel. I told him that he is not my boyfriend's friend at all, because a friend wouldn't do that to a friend. He told me that I am wrong because he knows that my boyfriend had sex with another girl. I was so shocked to hear that.

Finally, I agreed to have sex with him and as soon as he entered me, he discharged. Then he wanted to have oral sex with me and I refused. I already had his money in my bag, and I told him that I had to get back to work. I was 10 minutes late.

My conscience is bothering me. I feel real bad. I was able to pay some of the bills. I lied to my boyfriend that I took a salary advance. I feel so guilty, and this guy is still my boyfriend's friend and he is still coming to the house and smiling with me.

I.T.

Dear I.T.,

There is nothing that you can say to me that would make me believe that you had to cheat on your boyfriend. Yes, I understand that you were going through a little time of testing, but when the friend of your boyfriend told you that he wants to have sex with you, you should have rebuked him, and you should have told him that you were going to tell your boyfriend. When you told him that you are going to think about it, he knew that it was only a matter of time before he had sex with you. You are a bad girl. You have let down yourself and the man with whom you live.

Now, what is the difference between you and a prostitute? You would look at a prostitute and say that she is bad because she is selling sex, but you sold sex too, so from now on, don't you ever say anything bad about a prostitute.

I wish your boyfriend well. This man told you that your boyfriend cheated. He could have been lying, but whether it was so or not, you have no right to do what you did. Shame, shame!

Pastor