My abusive man is threatening to kill me

Dear Pastor,

My story is very long, but I would like you to hear all of it and give me your advice. I am in my early 20s, and I have a problem. I met this guy when I was 17 years old, and we have been together since I was 18. I used to go to his house every other weekend. He lives with his mother, father, sister, brother, niece and nephew, and they were very unkind, so I was very uncomfortable there. One day, the mother said in front of my boyfriend and I that his ex-girlfriend was the best woman and he would never get a woman like her again. I didn't say anything.

The sister and the brother have the habit of using and eating my things without my permission, which I didn't like, but I wouldn't say anything. One day, the sister ate all my food and I spoke to her in a respectful way and told her not to do it again. She argued and said that I should not come to their house again. I went home and never returned; only to collect my things. I was not seeing my boyfriend for a while, only on the road, because I was living with my uncle, and he couldn't visit. He went and lived with another woman, and I was heartbroken. I stayed to myself.

About a year after he and the lady broke up, I met a very nice guy, and when he knew we were together, he tried to come back in my life. I always said that I would give him another chance because when everyone turned their backs on me, he was the only one who was there for me. I regret that decision when we got back together.

VERY JEALOUS

I went back to live with my mother, and he came and stayed for days until it became permanent. He is a very jealous man, and he always flirt with girls. He started to abuse me physically and verbally. He cheated with an underage girl in the community, and I found out after he denied it over and over. I told him I could not forgive him and he should move on. He said he is not moving on and that I only want him to move out because I have another man. But that is not true.

I don't deserve to be living like this, and that is why I told him so. He continued to do wrong things, and I decided that I am going to take out a restraining order against him because he doesn't want to leave my home. That is from July and he is still at my house now. He threatens to kill me if I call the police.

T.F.

Dear T.F.,

If you seriously wanted this man to leave your house, it would have been done. You said you took out a restraining order against him, but he is still at your house. Something is not right. If you seriously don't want this man around, get the police to help you. You said he has promised to kill you. The police should be made aware of his threats. Right now you are all mixed up, and you are allowing men to use you. You have to be determined not to allow men to use you. I further suggest that you talk to a lawyer about this matter.

Pastor