I want to expose my gay ex-lover

Dear Pastor,

I am a 25-year-old guy, and I have a confession to make. In 2017, an article came out about someone from the community of Summerfield who was HIV-positive. I was the one who wrote it. I won't say my name because a lot of people know me. I am gay. A particular guy and I had a sexual and romantic relationship. We were lovers, then it became something else. It started off when I went to borrow his jersey and returned it.

One night, I made a pass at him because I felt the tension between us. We would see each other some nights, but whenever I saw him in the town, he would ignore me. He was involved with girls as well, so it was not obvious that he was gay. But I didn't like that, so I confronted him about it. He said: "People highly respect me on the road, so I can't let it be known that I am gay. This is Jamaica, and they say gay men should be dead. Furthermore, I can't act as a gay man among my friends."

He got a girl pregnant, and he has sexually abused another girl. This guy is the worst. I have kept his secrets long enough. I used to give him money, clothes and shoes, but I have stopped. He threatened to expose me for being gay, and that is why I want to expose him first. He knows that I am gay, and he is trying to frame others just to hide his identity.

I want everyone to know that I loved him and he hurt me. He did a lot for me, but I don't want to discuss that because it is personal. He doesn't have HIV for a fact, but he is definitely gay. I had to move from the community because of him. No guy wants to look at me. Did I do something bad, or is it him?

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

You said your purpose for writing this letter is to expose your former gay partner. You gave his name, but we will not publish it. You write as someone who wants to continue the relationship with this man. But it seems as if this man does not want to associate with you all the time because he does not want it to be known that he is gay. I repeat, your purpose is to expose him and to embarrass him.

The relationship you had with this man was private, but it has gone sour. You can't deal with it, so you want the world to know about it. From what you have said, this man has girlfriends also. He is bisexual. This is something between the both of you. You have not indicated that you are writing to me because you need spiritual help. Apparently, you are proud to be gay, but out of spite, you are endeavouring to embarrass your former partner by trying to let the world know that he goes both ways.

I suggest that you talk to him. You both need to see a psychologist.

Pastor