My man caused me to cheat

Dear Pastor

I am 30 and my boyfriend caused me to be bad. Whenever I ask him for some money, he would tell me how bad things were with him, and then he would remind me that I am working.

We would argue and I would fall asleep, then I could feel him trying to take off my underwear and if I resisted, he could come on me and start to play with my breasts.

Sometimes I would try to tell him that I want my breasts and my private parts to give to another man who would give me money.

He would say "Girl, you want me to kill you? No other man must get this." But he was so stupid, as I was giving it to another man already, and it was he who forced me into doing so.

I wanted to attend a good friend's wedding. She was not only a friend, but also my co-worker. She invited me to her wedding and asked me to give her toast.

I asked my boyfriend for money to buy a dress. I told him what it was for. He told me to wear one of the dresses that I had worn to another wedding.

I was so hurt, I cursed him. One day I was thinking, as I stood before the mirror admiring my body, that this body was not made to cheat, but I am going to do it.

So, I called a male friend and asked him for $15,000 as I wanted to look good at the wedding.

He didn't even ask me for sex, but I told him I would 'take care of him'. He asked me when that would be and I told him I would call him back.

I went home and asked my boyfriend about his shift. The way I asked the question, he did not suspect my intentions.

The following day, I called my male friend and we arranged to go to a hotel when my boyfriend would be at work.

I did my best to satisfy my friend and the sex could not be better. Generally, it is the man who would fall asleep after ejaculating, but I fell asleep while he was wide awake and he had to wake me up to go home.

So, Pastor, when you hear these men say that they are smart, it is the women who are smarter than them. I never wanted to cheat, but since then, I have cheated about four other times because this sweet lover and I have something good going on.

I don't even bother to ask the man that I am living with for anything.

I went to the wedding and my boyfriend never asked me where I got the money from to by the dress, and do my hair and nails.

I am not writing this to you to encourage women to cheat. I only want to make the point that some men are the cause why we beautiful women cheat on them.

L.F.

Dear L.F.,

You have explained yourself very well. But you know I could not encourage you to cheat. I have been a counsellor for many years, and I know from counselling women that they are smarter than men when it comes to cheating and lying.

But as a counsellor, I can never divulge what women have told me in confidence. Of course, men are great cheaters too. It is amazing that women always consider men to be very bad and when men are discovered cheating, women say "is because him a man".

But, when a woman cheats and it is known, people call her the 'W' word. It is unfair, but "jackass seh the worl' not level".

I want to beg you not to continue to cheat. Don't put your life in danger. Men like to give 'bun', but men can't take 'bun'.

If this man with whom you live is mean and you do not see any future with him, you should leave him and carve out a future for yourself.

Pastor