Cheated on my husband with my first babyfather

Dear Pastor,

I am 35. I have two children and I am married. I am living with my husband. My second child is ours, but my first child was by a man I went to school with.

He went away, but he did not know that he had got me pregnant. When I heard from him I was about six months pregnant.

He told his mother about the situation and they bought me baby stuff and treated me very well.

After I had the baby we continued to correspond, but I met another man who became my husband. Pastor, I do not love my husband as much as I love this man.

My husband treats me well. He is a good provider. But sometimes when I think of this other guy, I cry and I ask myself why life is so cruel and why did he have to leave me and go abroad.

Last December, I got a call from this man saying that he was coming to Jamaica and he would like to see me. He came to Jamaica and was staying at his mother's house.

When I went there to see him, my heart was beating very fast. I was speechless, and found out that I was still in love with him.

I was afraid to tell my husband that I saw him but when my son came home, he told his brother that he saw his father and I saw him, too.

My husband asked me where I saw him and I told him I went to his mother's house. My husband was not pleased.

I had arranged with him to see him again. So I went back to his mother's house, where the both of us were alone.

LOST CONTROL

He kissed me and I became so nervous, I lost control and he just pushed up the door and we had sex.

That was the first and only time I cheated on my husband. I did not know that it was so easy to cheat.

My husband tells me that I am not acting right with him. This man has gone back to the US and I am doing my best to please my husband.

Even the necklace he bought for me, I will not wear because my husband would want to know whether I bought it.

I don't want to leave my husband. The guy told me that he is divorced.

I don't want to break up my marriage, but he told me that he would marry me and take me away.

Do you think that is a good idea?

T.P.

Dear T.P.,

The love that you have for this man never died, and although both of you have been apart from each other for a very long time, when you met again the love sparkled in the heart.

It was just a matter of time before both of you had sex. Now you would understand the saying, "Old fire stick easy to catch".

What are you going to do? This man wants you to leave your husband, and he would marry you and take you to the US. That is too big a risk to take.

Yes, it is true that both of you have a child together, but your husband has not done you any wrong.

How can you be sure about this man? You don't know what type of life he is living in the US. What you need now is forgiveness for what you have done.

I cannot encourage you to tell your husband what has happened between you and this man. But you can surely talk to God about it.

You should only communicate to this man about your son. Don't meet with him again unless lots of people are around; you have already made a very big mistake. Your husband sensed that something was wrong.

He knows you and he knows the way you were behaving was not normal.

Pastor