My lazy girlfriend sleeps all day

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you because I am having a problem. I am a security guard, and I am living with my girlfriend. I love her. She said that she loves me, but it doesn't look that way to me. When I am on the day shift, I have to get up and make my own breakfast while she is in bed. Sometimes I even leave some of what I have prepared for her.

Whenever I come home, dinner is not ready. I asked her what she was doing and she said: "I was sleeping." I asked her if she was sleeping all day, and she said nothing is wrong with that. I complained to her mother, and her mother spoke to her. She was very upset, and told me that I should not complain to her mother whenever we have a problem. She is 28 years old and I am 26.

My father told me that my mother used to treat him better than how this girl is treating me, and I should not allow her to do as she pleases. Sometimes on weekends, I have to wash my own uniform. I would give her money to go to the market from in the morning, and she is out all day. When she returned home, I asked her where she was. She said she met up with friends and time caught up with her.

ANSWERING MY PHONE

I like to have soup on Saturdays, but she would start preparing the soup late in the evening, and she doesn't give me until in the night. When I am at home and my phone rings, she is quick to answer my phone, and if I answer my own phone she wants to know which girl is calling me. I don't have another woman, but I am thinking that I should. I go to church sometimes on Sundays, I told her she should go to church, either on Saturday or Sunday, but she is not interested. I would like to find a good woman, someone I can trust.

Not that I can't trust the girl I am living with, but she is not treating me the way a woman should treat a man. When it comes to sex, she gives me good sex. I can't complain about that.

A.F.

Dear A.F.,

You shouldn't be living with this woman, and that's the truth. What you have is just a girlfriend, and, unfortunately, she has never been taught how to take care of a man. She doesn't feel like she has any obligation at all to take care of a man. What this woman wants from you is your money. You say that the sex is good, but surely, that is not enough. Why should you be washing your clothes every weekend and this woman is not working? Surely, she doesn't have a heart. She looks at you as an idiot.

Some young women reading your letter may say the girl is quite correct because the girl is not your helper. But I say to you that good women take pleasure in taking care of their men, especially when these women realise that the men are bringing home the bacon. Men don't have to ask for much. Good women do what they know they should do to keep the relationship going, and they even go the extra mile.

This woman stays in bed, although she knows that you have to get to work at a certain time, and she does that with regularity. No, she is not a good woman, and if you had intended to marry her, I beg you to perish the thought. Don't put any ring on this woman's finger. If you feel that you should give her a chance, both of you should go and see a family counsellor.

Pastor