I have the stepmother from hell

Dear Pastor,

I am 16 years old and I am having a problem. I am living with my father and my stepmother. I have been living with my father for seven years because my mother left us and went away.

My father had a girlfriend and she lived here with us, but she left and went to one of the small islands to work.

Different women used to come and sleep with my father. He used to tell me that it was because he couldn't do better why he brought women in the house, but it's not because he wanted to disrespect me.

For the last two years, he picked up this woman who doesn't like me at all. She has a son and he is the same age like me, and every time he comes to Kingston for holidays, she wants him to sleep in the same room with me, and I told her no.

I told my father and he agreed with me, and told her that the boy must sleep on the couch or she should find another place for him to stay.

We only have one bathroom and I went into the bathroom and I had taken off all my clothes. He pushed the door open and came in, saying he wanted to use the toilet.

He would not leave so I had to put on my underwear and leave. When my father came home, I told him and the guy called me a liar.

His mother said she doesn't know him to be a liar. So he must be telling the truth.

My father had promised to marry her in a few months but when he stood up for me, she cursed a lot of bad words to him, and he told her the wedding is off.

She said she is going to sue him. Can she sue my father? Now, he wants her to move out, and she said she is not going to leave unless he gives her some money.

I am so worried because my father has a temper, and he told her if she doesn't leave, he is going to do something really bad to her.

A.R.

Dear A.R.,

I am sorry that you have found yourself in the midst of problems between your father and his woman.

Perhaps this incident with your stepmother's son and you has brought out the worse in your stepmother, and your father, too.

But let us consider this thing from the beginning. You seem to have had a very good relationship with your daddy.

After your mother left, your father took a long time to settle. He finally found this woman and they were living together and they finally decided to get married.

She ought to have known that she was wrong to insist that her son should sleep in the same room with you.

Whether his mother has confidence in her son is not the issue. You did not want him in your room because he is a male and you are not related, and as a girl, you wanted your privacy.

Why should his mother make an issue of that and cursed you? Second, this young man showed his true colours when he pushed the bathroom door and went in.

Whether he knew that you were in there is not the issue. If the bathroom door was closed, he should have knocked. And you were in the nude, so naturally, you were embarrassed.

It seems to me that from the time that you objected to sharing your room with this young man, there was tension in the home.

This marriage plan should indeed be abandoned and this woman and your father should indeed separate. They have lost respect for each other.

I know some people would blame you and say you are the problem. But I would say don't worry about what people may say.

She is demanding money from your dad. She should get what she deserves. I suggest, therefore, that your father should consult a lawyer and get legal advice.

He should be willing to follow the advice of the lawyer and let this woman have what she is entitled to.

Pastor