Babyfather said I had sex with men to buy food

Dear Pastor,

I'm a regular reader of your column, but this is my first time writing to you. I've been in this relationship for the past nine years. I met this guy when I was 18 and he was in his early 20s. Time passed, and we fell in love. I got pregnant for him, and I had a son. To cut a long story short, I went to live with him, and things were not always good between us because every relationship has its ups and downs. But this man can't seem to get his life in order. He drinks, parties, gambles, and womanises his weekly pay and doesn't bring home any money for the home expenses, etc.

If I asked him for money, he would tell me that he didn't get paid or thathe only had $2,000. It happened that he lost his job. It's a blessing that I had friends and a few family members who helped me with a little cash so that I could send my son to school and buy some groceries. This man eats what he doesn't provide, and then whenever he gets drunk, he criticises me and says I had sex to buy food and send our child to school.

I am so frustrated, and I feel like I want to run away, but I can't leave my son with him and I don't have anywhere to go. I grew up in a poor family, and they are still struggling. I didn't get to sit any subjects while in high school, and now, it's hard for me to get a job. I'm trying to get into a HEART Trust/NTA school to do a course in foods.

Pastor, please, I am asking for your advice and for help with getting a Food for the Poor house for my son and me. I really want to get out of this man's house before my son thinks that the way his father is acting is the role of a man. I try my very best to explain to my son that he shouldn't follow his father's lifestyle, but he's only five.

Please, Pastor, I really do need your help.

Desperate Mother

Dear Desperate Mother,

I suggest that you contact a pastor who lives in your neighbourhood or the pas tor of your church, if you attend church. These persons would be in a position to recommend you because they know you. They would have to answer questions from Food for the Poor, and I am in no position to answer the questions that they would ask about you.

It is unfortunate that you are with a man who is not standing up to his responsibilities . He has no shame, and all he can do is accuse you of having sex with men to buy food.

I pray that God will provide a job for you. This man is very disrespectful, and you shouldn't be having a relationship with him. Don't give up. Read your Bible, pray, and go to church. Put God first, and he will do the rest for you.

Pastor