My wife doesn’t want my daughter to live with us

Dear Pastor,

I have been married for six years. This is my first marriage, but the second for my wife. Everything was going well until my 18-year-old daughter, who lives in rural Jamaica, asked me if she could come and stay with us and go to school.

We have a three, bedroom house, and it is only my wife and I living here. I told her mother that I have no objection to her coming.

I have always supported my two children. The boy is older and he is doing welding. He has a girlfriend and she has two children for him.

My daughter was living with her mother. There is not a week that she doesn't call me. She doesn't even have a serious boyfriend.

When I told my wife that she wants to come and stay with us and go to school, my wife objected and said that she wouldn't want her in the house because an 18-year-old girl is a big woman. She felt that she would bring her man into the house. I told her that that doesn't have to happen. We can lay down the rules. She still said no, she doesn't want her in the house.

Imagine, Pastor, this house is mine. I bought the land and built it. I am a small contractor, and now this woman is telling me that my daughter can't come here to stay and go to school.

When I became friendly with my wife, my younger brother told me that I should be careful because something must be wrong for a woman to get divorced and she does not even have a child or money.

When I took this woman, she told me she did not have any money. I bought her a car, and she is working. Sometimes she still asks me for money.

I asked her what she does with her money, and she says she has it in the bank. She is always going to Miami and to New York to shop.

I am not complaining about that, but I don't see why my daughter can't live here with us.

Tell me if I am wrong, Pastor. If my daughter can't live here with us, don't you think my wife should leave? I told her that she would have to go, and she told me that I can't put her out.

So, I am here asking for your advice. My daughter is here now, but she doesn't talk to my daughter at all.

R.P.

Dear R.P.,

I wish not to cause any problem, but, sir, c ontinue to do your very best for your daughter . Your wife is not even willing to give this young woman a chance to prove herself.

She is determined not to have her stay at your house and that attitude is wrong. What does she know about this young woman that would cause her to feel that she would bring men into your house?

There are women who do not like to have stepchildren living with them regardless of who these stepchildren are. I say to you, don't allow your daughter to leave your house.

But I go further to say, please go and see a lawyer for legal advice. This woman seems to be a gold digger.

Pastor