Babyfather is driving me crazy

Dear Pastor,

My children's father owes me some money for phonecards and from fixing up his father's car.

Sometimes I feel OK, but other times I feel like I'm going to go crazy, and that is why I don't always speak to him.

I never knew that he would ever look on another woman much less have sex and get another woman pregnant.

He knew that I would leave him, but I guess that is what he wanted.

Sometimes I cry whenever our daughter talks about her brother that her dad has with another woman.

I have been so unhappy because I thought that he would become a Christian before we got children and live together.

I also thought that he was a decent man. We would stand together in the rain with an umbrella talking.

He also told me that he loved me more than anything else, by giving me anything, and telling everyone that I was his wife-to-be.

I have sinned against Christ so many times and was going to do so again, so I do not blame God for punishing me because I deserve it.

My babyfather always says that whenever I am vexed with him, he has to talk to me first to reconcile, and he doesn't like that.

He said I dressed like an old woman and complained that I did not do different sex positions because some are painful.

I used the money that I was saving to build my room and took him to the doctor, and paid for a part of the prescription too.

I'm also washing a full basket of clothes. He would be around me even when I was sick, even if the sickness is catching.

Whenever I am having my menses, my belly would pain me and he would still come even when I told him not to.

But I think that we were getting tired of each other and that this relationship was not going anywhere.

My mother has prayed for him to get a job and he did, but afterwards, she told him that he would go back to his ex-girlfriend, which he did.

I have not been able to carry myself properly nor treat myself with care. I never got a chance to enjoy any of my two pregnancies, and only now is he buying goats and doing farming with his father. He is so lazy otherwise.

His babymother's sister came to our daughter's graduation in June 2017. He said that she was his friend's girlfriend and that he forgot to tell me that she was coming.

He always asks why I am going to school so often and why am I so mean. But sometimes he would take me out to buy whatever I want, or he would buy something for me; but he won't take me anywhere with him.

My mom told me not to take anything from a man because he would want something from me in return.

I applied for midwifery school but I haven't heard from them as yet. He wants to take the children if I get through. He told one of his ex-girlfriends that I am fool and dark and I have no sense.

My mom keeps on saying that he is the one for me. Both of us would wash his full basket of clothes and cook for him if they didn't cook at his house.

N.A.

Dear N.A.,

Your problems are numerous. You created some for yourself and some were created by this wicked and inconsiderate beast that you love.

I want you to love yourself first, but you have not learned that that is what you ought to do. You are wasting yourself. You are wasting precious time with this two-footed beast.

Whatever I tell you now wouldn't prevent you from allowing him to use you. So, I am suggesting that you make an appointment to see a psychologist.

Perhaps he/she would help to drive sense into your head.

Pastor