Customer wants to get me into bed

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old, and I am working at a large supermarket. I have a boyfriend. He is working at the same place. He is 20.

I got mixed up with him before coming to know that he was in love with one of the cashiers. If I pass by and look at her, she curses me.

Sometimes when things are slow and I try to get some rest, if she sees me, she reports me.

My co-workers told me that I am too soft. I can't leave this job. The guy told me to ignore her. He says that he slept with her before meeting me but that the relationship between them is over and she is trying to get him back.

He has stopped giving her money. She has a child, but it is not his, and the guy who she said is the father has also denied paternity. She is five years older than my boyfriend, and she said that she will not stop giving me trouble.

I want to go back to school. My boyfriend is not in a position to help me. Lots of the men who come here come with their women but still have their eyes on me.

Some of them slip their business card in my hand and ask me to call them. One of them offered to help me. He said it will cost me only my time.

When I asked him what that meant, he said that I would have to spend time with him at his place.

Do you think I should have a relationship with this man? Some of the workers tell me that they go out with them but that if the boss found out, he would fire them. I need the help. Please give me your advice.

T.R.

Dear T.R.,

You will never be able to stop men from admiring you. You are evidently attractive, and you are young. And if you carry yourself well, men will see you, admire you, and even fall in love with you. Men love women who put themselves together well and who speak well.

You are working in a large supermarket, and some will ask you questions just to get to know you. They will offer suggestions to you, and if you take the bait, so to speak, you will be hooked.

Many girls have become involved with men whom they met at the workplace, and some of these men have assisted them in many different ways.

You have your boyfriend. You have not said whether the relationship started after you began working there.

But he is friendly with another woman at the same place, and she is determined that if you don't leave her man, she will try to get you fired.

But this man is telling you not to listen to her threats. I say to you, end the relationship between you and this man. If you don't, she may cause you to lose your job. And at this moment, you can't afford to lose your job.

I know some may say that she cannot get you fired, but my dear, she has been there longer than you. Plus, you don't know what she may set up to get you into trouble.

So tell this man that you will have to end the relationship with him.

I don't expect him to agree with you, but I believe you will be doing the right thing. And when you do, you should make it known to the other workers that you have brought the relationship to an end because you were not aware that your boyfriend and this young woman were going together.

Concerning the customer who likes you, you should at least know what this man is after.

Whatever he may give to you will not be for free. He said that it will only cost you time. In other words, you will have to be available to him anytime he needs you.

Yes, he might be in a position to financially support you, but the demands on you would be great. Therefore, I would advise you to seek another way out.

You are hoping to go to school. Save your money. Look for another job that might pay you more than what you are earning now. Don't sell yourself. You can succeed without selling your body.

Pastor