Can’t keep up with girlfriend in bed

Dear Pastor,

I am living with my girlfriend who is 26; I am in my late 30s. I drive a truck for a living and I have five children.

Sometimes when I come home, I am very tired. My girlfriend is teaching at an infant school. No matter how tired I am, she wants me to do my duty in the bedroom.

She has warned me many times that she would keep men with me, but she hasn't carried out her threats as yet. She is going back to school. But that is not helping me.

I told her that if she is going to keep another man with me, she should leave. But every time I mention that she should leave, she says that she is only joking about keeping another man. Sometimes when we have sex and I ejaculate, she quarrels and even uses expletives.

A friend of hers came to the house to see her and she was not there and she left a bag. I opened the bag and it had a parcel in it, well wrapped up. So I did not unwrap it.

A few nights after, she and I were making love and at the end of it, she said she wanted more. She pulled out a vibrator and started to use it. I was so vexed, I pushed her off the bed and she went down on the floor and used it while I fell asleep.

When I got up to go to work, I told her that she was very out of order and disrespectful. She said using her vibrator in front of me should tell me that she is not about to cheat on me. Sometimes I think we should separate and I try to get an older woman, but I have spent much money on this girl.

So, counsellor, give me your advice.

H.E

Dear H.E.,

Evidently, you have slowed down considerably. You were running around at one time and you had five children. But you like this young woman with whom you are living.

The only problem you are having with her is that you can't satisfy her sexually and she is not willing to take time with you. She wants much more than what you are able to give.

She told you that she would get involved with other men if you were unable to satisfy her, but she said she was only joking. But you would be a fool to believe that that is only a joke. Perhaps you believe that you are doing your best, but your best is not good enough for this young woman. So she has procured a vibrator.

I must tell you that no man can cause the type of sensation a vibrator can generate. So if this young woman is determined to use her vibrator, you would not be able to compete with this instrument.

Some time ago, a married woman told me that even after having sex with her husband who was doing his very best, she had to masturbate to be fully satisfied, and her husband would see her doing so and fuss with her.

I would say to you, sir, if you truly love this woman, both of you should not fight over this thing called sex or lovemaking. It might be time for both of you to make an appointment to see sex therapists and discuss this matter.

If you love each other, don't walk away from the relationship. Try very hard to resolve this problem. Don't throw or take away her vibrator; it would only make matters worse.

You are not an old man who is unable to function. You just need some help. If this woman is willing to work with you, both of you can have a wonderful relationship and even get married.

Pastor