Dating a woman 10 years my senior

Dear Pastor,

I am 31. I have had bad luck with three women. I treated them well.

One of them went to Canada and before she left, she told me she was not coming back. She then gave me the shocking news that she had a man friend in Canada.

For the four years we were friends, she never mentioned that. I used to sleep at her house, and sometimes during the week, I took her to work.

I knew her parents and her siblings. At no time did it slip out from any of them that she had a man in Canada.

The last night we spent together, she did everything to make me comfortable. I took her to the airport and when I kissed her goodbye, I broke down. She called me and told me she arrived in Canada.

That was the end of that relationship. One thing about her, she did not look to me for anything when we were friends. All she wanted from me was good loving.

I became involved with another woman. She was a gold-digger. She always wanted money. The first time she asked me for money, I gave her $10,000 and she told me that couldn't buy anything.

I told her that was what I could afford. She was always going into my pants pockets. She always wanted money to go to the hairdresser and to do her nails.

I realised that she was not my type. Every week she wanted us to eat out. She wanted me to borrow money to buy her a car. I refused and I left her.

My last girlfriend was a mental case. She wasn't working. She did not have even one subject, but she lied and told me she had eight and she would like to be a lawyer.

When I told her that she should be able to apply to law school, she changed her mind and said she wanted to study abroad.

One day I told a friend that she wanted to be a lawyer, and he told me how she should go about it. That caused a big contention between me and her. She said she didn't want anybody to know her business.

Her parents live in the rural areas and she said she was going there to spend the weekend with them. But, I found out she was going to meet a man.

All these women were younger than me. I am now with a woman who is 10 years older. She treats me like a king. Although I have my own place, I spend most of the time with her because of her good treatment.

She has never been married. My friends and family are telling me that she is too old for me, but as I see it, the young ones are liars and thieves.

Do you think anything is wrong for a man to marry a woman who is 10 years older than himself? I would love to have a child. That is the only concern I have about this woman.

She does not have any children either. When we are having sex, we don't use the condom. Please, I am asking you for your advice.

H.C

Dear H.C,

I do not know why your first girlfriend did not tell you about the man in Canada. She deceived you and gave you the impression that you would be her husband.

She didn't believe that she owed you any explanation because she has never depended on you for support. She used you to satisfy her sexual appetite. But she never wanted you to become her future partner.

The other women you had in your life were also dishonest in different ways. The one you described as a gold-digger would have robbed you and left you homeless. You couldn't manage her.

So, you were wise to end the relationship with her. I don't even have to comment on the other woman. She was senseless.

Now concerning the older woman. If both of you love each other, do not allow her age to be a problem. She is 10 years your senior, so that should not be a problem if you love her.

Neither of you has children. Both of you can see a doctor, and, if it is not possible for this woman to get pregnant, both of you can adopt a child after you get married.

I wish both of you well. I hope t hat you would write to me again and let me know what progress has been made in the relationship.

Pastor