He’s cheating on his wife with my mother

Dear Pastor,

I am 17 and I am living with my mother and grandparents. My father is married to another woman. But, he is always visiting my mother. He said he does not care what anybody wants to say. His wife is only wearing the ring, but my mother is his queen.

If my mother goes anywhere, he comes to the house and waits until she returns. She complains to me and to my grandparents.

But whenever she sees him, she is as quiet as a lamb. Sometimes my grandmother asks if she tied my father to her. She says yes.

Right now, my mother is trying to build a house and my father is the contractor. She is not paying him to do it. So he is also using his money to buy material.

My father's wife knows that my mother and my father are together. I get along well with my brother and sisters from my father's side, but I don't go to my father's house.

My mother started to go to church but she stopped because of my father. Anytime my mother and I talk about marriage, she tells me that she could never get married because my father wouldn't allow her.

But at the same time, she would like to get married. Do you believe that my mother tied my father to her and that is why he is not leaving her? I would like to see my mother get married. I know a man who likes her, but she is afraid of my father.

T.M.

Dear T.M.,

I believe that the reason why your mother has not broken up with your father is because he is able to give her money. I can't say that she has never loved him.

But the primary reason why she is with him is because of what she can get out of him. Right now she is trying to build a house and your father is the co ntractor. She is unable to build this house on her own. So, she is using him as much as she can.

She is talking about wanting to get married, but she is not serious about that. This idea about your mother tying this man to her, I doubt very much. Your mother is using your father. Perhaps what I should really say is both of them are using each other.

Pastor