I am ashamed of my father

Dear Pastor,

I have been a regular reader of your column. I find it very interesting and helpful. My mother had four girls and two sons for two different men, but these men never stayed around. So we looked up to you for guidance.

My mother bought THE STAR every day. All of my mother's children have turned out well. The only time I hear from my father is when he wants to get something from us. He has not done well, and he did not get married. I understand that he is living with a young girl who has two children. I asked him about it and he said the children are not his.

My mother is doing well. We have helped her to buy a house, and we have stopped her from working. But I have a struggle. Whenever my father asks me for money, I always want to know what he is going to do with my money. The man does not have a roof over his head, and he is living with a young girl. And he makes money as a plumber.

I have passed my father on the road without picking him up. I am so ashamed of him. He doesn't know what car I drive, so he is not aware that I have passed him. I don't want to hate him because he is my father, but I cannot say that I love him. I don't remember him giving me anything. My mother carried the load, and she worked hard. And my aunts and uncles helped us.

Am I a wicked person not to help my father? Would you like to comment on what I have said?

S.L.

Dear S.L.,

There is always a place for forgiveness. Your father did not support you. Your mother struggled with you and your siblings, and as you mentioned, she got help from relatives. You all have done well, and you all have made her very comfortable. Congratulations to all of her children!

You said that your father is living with a young woman who has two children, and he says that the children are not his. Whether or not they are his children, whenever he calls on you for financial assistance and you are in a position to do so, help him. And, please, try and encourage this man to turn to God. He is ruining his life, and he is going to be a very unhappy man in his senior years.

Pastor