Guys think I am a lesbian

Dear Pastor

I am 19 years old and I am a virgin. I am not a Christian but I grew up in Christian home and I have faithfully attended church. Most people see me and believe I am a Christian because of the way I dress. My mother has two of us but I am my father's only child. When my father married my mother she already had one child. My father and my mother have been married for 20 years, and when they are playing, they behave as if they just met.

My father loves me, my mother loves me too, but I am my father's pet. My brother confided in me that he gave away his virginity when he was 18, and it was to an older woman than himself. My father told me that I should try and remain a virgin until I get married.

What I am concerned about is that I am in my first year at university and all the guys that see me are not serious about a stable relationship with me, all they do is talk about sex, and I am not interested.

Sometimes I lie and tell them that I have my man and my man is taking care of me. I say that to run them away. I have a very good friend and she and I are always together, and some of these guys have branded us as lesbians. This girl has her boyfriend and she tells me what they are saying about her does not bother her, but it bothers me. But her friendship means a lot to me. Please give me your advice.

F.D.

Dear F.D.,

When people can't get the grapes, they say the grapes are sour. These guys who are trying to date you and get you to go to bed with them are annoyed because you are not willing to give yourself to them, so they will say unpleasant things about you.

It is something you have to expect but you need not pay much attention to them. Your girlfriend says she is not concerned about the rumour about both of you, but you are. I want to encourage you to be strong and to learn that people will always talk things that are not true about you, so try not to be worried about what they say.

Concerning your virginity, you are 19 years old and you are a virgin, you do not have to give that away to please anybody. I am glad you have a wonderful relationship with your father, keep that going and don't be afraid to discuss your problems with him. He will understand.

Pastor.