Think God punished me for remarrying

Dear Pastor,

I have a problem. I fell in love with a gentleman who is 50 and I am 40. He was married and his wife and himself did not get along so he is divorced. I grew up in a home where we were taught that marriage was forever and divorce was wrong, and whoever was married and got a divorce lived in sin.

When I met this man who became my husband, I told him I could not marry him because he is divorced. He never accepted no for an answer; he kept coming after me. He told me how much he loved me. We went out together; he was in a good financial position. After I fell in love with him, I told my parents about him; my parents did not give me their blessing. We went ahead and got married and soon after I became pregnant.

When my first child was born, he was born with a certain disease and my husband and I have always wondered if this was God's way of punishing us for going against His commandment that people should not get divorced and remarry. I don't know how you feel about it but I would like to hear your comments.

W.J.

Dear W.J.,

I know some folks insist that married couples should never seek to divorce each other regardless of the circumstances. Some of us do not see it that way. Some of us counsellors believe that there are circumstances where a divorce is necessary. How can it be right to tell a woman that she should stay with her husband even if he emotionally and physically abuses her?

I see no ground in scripture to encourage such relationship to go on. However, it is a different thing altogether if a couple wants to divorce over trivial matters. That should not be encouraged at all. I think you should put your mind at ease even if you believe that you were wrong in marrying your husband. I do not believe that you should to be tortured because your son was born with a disease. Relax and try to do your best for your son.

Pastor