Pregnant for a married man

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 and I have a problem. I am in love with a man who is married. When I first met him, I did not know he was married. I found out after the both of us cohabited.

I asked him why he did that to me and he said if he had told me that he was married I wouldn't want to have anything to do with him. Anyway, I forgave him and we continued our friendship. One evening he came to see me and I was alone. He wanted to make love to me. I asked him if he had a condom and he said no but we could do it and I could buy the morning-after pill.

He gave me money to purchase the pill but I am now pregnant. I told the man that I missed my period. One of my friends told me that I took the pill too late. This man is quarrelling every day and saying my aim is to destroy his marriage because if I had done what I should have done, I wouldn't be in trouble. This is my first child but I did not want to have a child for a married man. He said he will support the child but I should not register him or her in his name. His said his wife will never forgive him and she has a green card, so he knows that she will leave him and he cannot allow that to happen.

Y.L.

Dear Y.L.,

This man was not truthful to you when you became friends. He did not tell you he was married but after you found out, you shouldn't have continued to have sex with him, and then you were careless by not taking the morning-after pill. I could only encourage you to have your baby and to do what is right. Your child would need to know who their father is, so as he or she grows up, you should tell the truth. You should register the child in the father's name. Do not get involved with this man's wife. He would have to deal with her on his own. This man is throwing the blame for the pregnancy on you by accusing you of wanting to destroy his marriage. Ignore his nonsense.

Pastor