Boyfriend’s mother hates me

Dear Pastor,

I have been living with a man for seven years. The relationship has had its problems, but generally we get along. He is educated, but I am not.

I have been doing my little business. He has helped me a lot. I buy stuff from abroad and I sell it to my customers here in Jamaica. I have very good customers who work in the banks. My boyfriend helped me to begin this business. My car is like a store. I travel with everything. I buy a lot of women's clothes and shoes, but I also have good male customers.

COVID has slowed me down, but I order lots of things online. My boyfriend's male friends order from me. I order good stuff from abroad. I have friends in America who help me sometimes. They buy things on sale for me and when I sell, I repay them. I have a friend who is taking care of her mother in Jamaica and when she sends stuff to me, I use her money to help take care of her mother.

I would love to marry this man, but I know his mother does not like me because I don't have a profession. She says all I have is beauty. She likes the girl who has a child for my boyfriend. He left her and got involved with me seven years ago, but his mother feels that I am to be blamed for their break-up. Since we have been living together, his mother has never been here. It bothers me sometimes, because I know this man loves his mother. I try to reach out to her. I told my boyfriend that we should invite her for dinner. She told him that she was not interested.

I tried to send her a Christmas cake in 2019 and I understand that she did not eat it. I have been faithful to her son. He has helped me. I am not interested in anybody else. I know he could have got another woman, but he chose me. But I listen to him and I know that he wants to please his mother. I want to go back to church. When he met me, I was in the church. He said he is not stopping me but I want to do more than just attending church; I want to be active again. Please, I am begging for your advice. This man reads your column every day.

K.M.

Dear K.M.,

I do not understand why this lady does not care for you. She should learn that she cannot choose for her son. It is unfortunate that so many mothers want to choose wives for their sons. Intelligent men do not just look for pretty women. They set their criteria, and they go after the women who fit their criteria.

You long for this woman to accept you, but, my dear, she doesn't want to accept you as her daughter-in-law; so leave her alone. Evidently, you are young and beautiful. Take care of yourself. You are hard-working. You are not a fool. You are a businesswoman, and I am sure that this man loves what you are doing to help yourself. Take care of your man. Never say anything negative about his mother. Save and invest your money.

Concerning church, you do not have to get married to this man to go back to church. It is unfortunate that you left, but you should return to church. Do so as often as possible. You can never tell, one of these days this man may propose to you. Nothing is impossible, absolutely nothing. I wish you well in your business, and I wish you well in your relationship. Bye for now.

Pastor