My friend is in love with a married woman

Dear Pastor,

This letter is on behalf of a friend. He recently separated from the mother of his two children, a boy aged 20 and a girl aged 18. This woman is in her mid-50s.

My friend has been courting another woman in her early 40s. However, he is still in love with the mother of his children. She was married during her 20s, but separated from her husband more than 30 years ago.

He remarried and lives with his family overseas. My friend wishes to marry the mother of his two children instead of this other woman. He wants to create a stable family with her. But that other woman wants desperately to marry him.

However, the mother of his children is afraid that if she marries him, having not divorced from the husband of her youth, she would be criminalised as a bigamist. I told him that having been abandoned for more than 30 years, she can hardly be considered married to that man who abandoned her many years ago. Furthermore, he has long remarried and has a family overseas. It is he who is the real bigamist!

Therefore, in my unlearned opinion, I believe that she should be able to marry my friend without being perceived as a bigamist, especially as he is the father of her children. Kindly write back with your advice, Pastor, and I will advise him to contact you himself in order to make the appropriate decision. Hoping to hear from you at your earliest possible convenience.

S.P.

Dear S.P.,

I am suspicious of you. I don't know why you are writing on behalf of this so-called friend. I suspect that you could be the woman who wants him to marry you. In any case, this is not a matter for me. Anyone who was not divorced and marries again, can be charged with bigamy. So, my suggestion is that your friend should seek the assistance of a lawyer. I wish you well.

Pastor