Confused over who to choose - My boss will give me his business if I marry his daughter ... But I am in love with a church girl

Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column and listening to you on the radio for a long time. I decided to write to you to help me with my problem. I am not so good at writing, so please bear with me as I try to explain myself.

I grew up with my grandparents. My mother left me in the rural area with them and went to Kingston. My grandfather is a farmer. I used to be on the farm with him. He taught me a lot. He had a few heads of cattle, and as I grew up, he taught me how to milk cows. I drank milk every day before going to school. I washed my own clothes as a young boy. My grandmother taught me how to cook.

I had no desire when I was growing up to be with my mother. I did not meet my father until I was 16 years old. My grandmother said she heard he was living in America. When I met him, he behaved as if we had known each other for a long time. He gave me US$100 and told me he was going to send for me to live with him in America. I told him I did not want to leave my grandparents and he said I would be better off in America. He went away and I did not hear from him again until after my 18th birthday.

My grandmother told me that all my father does is talk. My grandfather knew a man who was doing welding, so he asked the man to take me and teach me welding. I learnt the trade and I am still with the man because he is old and he depends on me to do lots of the work. He has a son but his son is not interested in welding. All he is interested in is to have lots of women. I still help my grandfather on his farm.

BEFORE I LAY DOWN WITH A WOMAN

My grandfather has given me a piece of land and I am saving to build my own house. He told me I must have a place to put my head before I lay down with a woman.

I have a girlfriend. She has a child, but it is not for me. I love the little boy, but I would love for her to have one by me. My grandmother accepted her, but she does not live with us. She is five years older than I am and she attends church.

The man who taught me welding has a daughter who loves me. He told me if I marry his daughter, he will give me the plant and nobody will be able to touch me. Sometimes I consider what he says, and I am asking you for your advice: Whether I should leave this girl who has a child, or go with the daughter of this man who taught me welding.

G.

Dear G.,

I am glad that you had a happy upbringing. Your biological father did not help you as a child. Your mother left you with your grandparents, but they have been wonderful people to you. You learned to be responsible by assisting your grandfather on his little farm and then you learnt welding with a good man. He took you not just as an apprentice, but as a son-in-law.

He saw how you worked hard and he wants you in his family, so much so that he is willing to turn over his welding plant to you if you are willing to marry his daughter.

It seems to me that you have really fallen into good hands. Of course, you may have to turn him down if you do not love his daughter, but if you know you love her, the decision shouldn't be difficult to make. You should discuss the matter with your grandparents. I am sure they will give you good advice. I think your grandfather would point you in the right direction.

Pastor