A married man has won my heart - He’s in love with me and giving me money

Dear Pastor,

I listen to your show every night, but I have never called. I am 39 years old and I have two children for a deadbeat father. He does not support his children, but whenever he wants sex, he finds me. I told him I am not hard up for sex, but I need money for the children. We were living together but he was not paying the rent, so we had to give up the place. The landlord told me that he could get twice the amount he was charging us. The rent was $35,000 for two bedrooms, a bathroom and a kitchen. Everything was left on me. The little money I got on my job was going into rent. When I told the children's father that I could not take it any more, this dirty boy told me that I have a 'front', so I know what to do. My mind turned against him immediately.

I have a sister who suggested that I live at her place because she was leaving for America with her boyfriend for at least six months. I moved into the house and all I had to pay for was electricity and water. She said that she would not want my children's father to live there. He helped me to move, but I refused to give him a key. He called my sister and told her that I have a man coming there,that's why I don't want him there. My sister had to tell him that she is the one who told me not to let him stay there. I am not getting a cent from him

Since I am here, one of my neighbours, who is single, has fallen in love with me. I have caught him looking at me many times. Sometimes he is pretending to water his lawn, but he is staring at me.

Pastor, I look good and I do have needs; not sexual, because I know how to help myself. One day, when I left the house to take the bus, this man stopped and offered me a ride. I did not want to go in his car, but he told me he is not going to eat me. We laughed about it and he gave me a ride. He admitted that he admires me, and I told him I know because I caught him looking at me. He said he could take me to work every morning if I wanted him to, but I told him no, I can take the bus.

VERY GOOD FRIENDS

Another day, this man knocked on my door and brought me a bag of goodies. I took them and he asked if I wasn't going to invite him in, so I did. We have become very good friends. I had to tell him that my children's father was not helping me. I asked him about his wife and he said she was in Canada, and he is hoping to join her.

He started to come around and I loved his company; but not only that, he started to give me money. I remember what my children's father said to me - that I have my front - so when he asked me for sex, I did not object. The first time we had sex he gave me $10,000, and I told him I did not want payment. He said if he were to pay me, I would get more because I am good.

This man has won over my heart and I am closer to him now, because my children's father has got into the habit of cursing me every time he calls. His own children are turning against him. One day I put the phone on speaker for our two children to hear the dirty things he was saying about me.

My two girls don't even want to hear from him. They don't even want to hear his voice. They are doing very well in school. My sister said I don't need to worry. She is planning to spend a longer time in America so I can live at their house. Sometimes I wonder what is going to happen between this man and me, because he and his wife are still together. He is in love with me and giving me money.

Pastor, please tell me what to do.

S

Dear S.,

I want you to know that I understand what you are saying. And although one would say that your children's father has pushed you into a situation where you have found it convenient to go with another man, you were the one who decided to consent to have an affair. Of course, your children's father has told you dirty things. He has been very disrespectful. A good man does not tell a woman what she should do with any part of her body and then when she does it, he calls her dirty names.

This man is a low-down, good-for-nothing man. At the same time, you should always remember that the man with whom you got involved has a wife and they will not be apart forever. So, you will have to say no to this relationship. I know you have needs, but try and do something to supplement your income apart from having sex with this man.

I would say to you, ignore what your children's father is saying to you. I am also suggesting that you take him to court for child support. He should be compelled to support his children. Tell the judge the full truth, and ask the judge to let him pay the money through the court.

Happy New Year to you.

Pastor