Living with my babyfather and his other woman

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you with tears in my eyes. I am 19 years old and I am pregnant. When I found out, I told my boyfriend. He gave me money to do an abortion.

I took the money, but I did not do it because I was told that abortion is murder. I put the money in my bank account. After a while, I called my boyfriend and I asked him to come and see me. He did not come, so I went to the stand where he is usually parked and when he saw me. He asked me why I did not get rid of the belly. I told him I could not do so because it is wrong. He said I should give him back his money.

I AM UNHAPPY

My mother is cursing me every day and telling me that I don't have any ambition. One day, I packed my bag because this man wanted me to spend the weekend with him. When I went there, I realised that another woman was there. I saw evidence of that. When I went home, my mother told me that I could not stay there because she can't afford to support another man's child and I took a lot out of her. So, I called my boyfriend and told him to come back for me. Now I am at the house with him, but his other babymother is also here. She wants to make war with me because she says that she was first.

I am very unhappy, but I am going to have my baby soon. Now he is telling me that I should go back to my mother. This girl can't manage me. I told my babyfather that I am going to give up the baby and he said no. I have been carrying the baby for months, so when the baby is born he will let his mother take care of the child. I don't hate this man. I still love him. What do you think I should do?

Anonymous

Dear Writer,

You did the correct thing by not terminating your pregnancy. The man who got you pregnant might live to thank you for not doing so. He told you that he did not want the child.

You tricked him by giving him the impression that you would terminate the pregnancy, but you didn't. Your mother is behaving like someone who is heartless. At least she could have allowed you to stay at her house until after you gave birth. But if the father of the child stands up for you and takes care of you, you would be able to come through with flying colours. You are at his house, and he has another woman there. It is not a very pleasant thing, I am sure. But this man feels that he cannot let the other woman go because she might not have anywhere to go. But he is not pushing you out, either. It is a very awkward situation.

GO BACK TO SCHOOL

After you have given birth and the man has given the child to his mother, go back to your mother, and go back to school. You have made a mistake. But lots of people have made mistakes and have done well as they pick up the pieces. Be careful. It is too bad that his mother wouldn't allow you to stay with her, even before you give birth. That is something the father of the child should consider and ask his mother to do. Happy New Year to you.

Pastor