Think I have feelings for my handyman

Dear Pastor,

I hope you enjoyed your holidays. I spent a very quiet one with my children. I did not have to cook. They cooked for me. My daughters were not interested in having chicken and pork and so on. They enjoyed salt fish, ackee, breadfruit and banana, although we had the meats.

I have three grandchildren. It was a joy to hear them sing the Christmas carols. I live alone. I will soon leave to go back to America to be with them. I can't stand the cold weather around this time in America. I am 73 and the cost of living in Jamaica is too high for me. I have a male friend. He is 65 years old. He does not want me to go back to America. But he has nothing. I feel sorry for him sometimes. His children don't help him much. He used to drink and gamble, but he has stopped living that way. He said that I have changed him.

My children tease me about him all the while, but they do not want me to marry him. They say he is too poor. When I am not in Jamaica, he takes care of the place for us and he does a good job. We pay him to cut the yard and we have the helper's quarters in which he stays. He looks much older than his age. We had this man over for Christmas and everybody enjoyed themselves.

I have a taxi man who takes me around and he told me that this man has a young girl. I asked him why he was telling me that and he said because he wanted me to warn him that this girl is going to eat him out. Pastor, after he told me about this girl, I felt jealous. I did not know that I loved this guy so much. I asked him about the girl and he said that they are only good friends. He has never brought her to the house while I am here. But I wonder why I should feel jealous of him when I can have him for myself if I want. I am in good health, but my children are behaving as if they are in control of my life.

F.T.

Dear F.T.,

I am trying to figure out from your letter what you are trying to tell me. I could understand how happy you were to have your children and grandchildren with you for Christmas. They enjoyed themselves. It is always a blessing to have family together for Christmas. I wonder if you want me to say whether I think that you should give this 65-year-old man an opportunity in your life. You seem to be holding out on him. But, at the same time, you seem to love him. But because of your children, you may not want to marry him. They consider him too poor.

Your driver should mind his own business. Perhaps he is interested in you and that is why he told you about this man having a girlfriend. He believes that you love this man, or the man loves you, so he is warning you to be careful. Again, I say, he needs to mind his own business. Perhaps this man and the young woman are only good friends and nothing more.

You are not too old to get married. But, at your age, you have to pay attention to what your children say. So, discuss everything with them and I wish you well.

Pastor