My girlfriend is lazy and sloppy

January 19, 2022

Dear Pastor,

I hope that you're having a good year so far. I am a lover of your column and I hope that you continue the good job. I am 23 years of age and I am dating a woman who is 29.

I love this woman so much. We have had a lot of good times and bad times throughout the relationship but we keep it strong. She is currently unemployed and I'm working in a wholesale downtown. She was working at her cousin's store but things got sour between them. She has a nine-year-old son who I treat like my own child. I haven't got any children yet. She is also pregnant as we speak.

The problem I have with her is that she is lazy and very sloppy. She doesn't want to do house chores, nor does she intend to get a job. All she wants to do is be at home doing nothing and go out with her friend. I'm from two parents who take hygiene and cleanliness to a high level, so I was brought up with the same attitude. Whenever we have an argument or certain discussions, she doesn't want to take responsibility for her actions and I dislike it. She makes it seem like I'm the problem. She doesn't even take time to groom her child. I am so frustrated and fed up with this kind of careless lifestyle. I'm too young to be going through this. I want someone who can help to build me up and is willing to work on something. I hope to get your feedback.


Dear R.B.,

Right away I can see that this woman doesn't have any respect for you. Neither is she a good housekeeper. She is not even careful about her life generally.

A good mother would want to take care of her child and set good examples for him/her. If she wants her son to be tidy, she has to teach him to be tidy and show him that she is not demanding anything of him that she is not practising. You described her as sloppy. She should do better and you shouldn't have to be telling her to clean up her house or to keep it tidy.

Whether you know it or not, it is unfortunate that you got this woman pregnant. An untidy woman is not someone of whom a man could be proud. You should insist that this woman get another job. Perhaps you should assist her in doing so. She ought not to be a burden to you. But it appears to me that she is. She is wasting time. If she had respected you, then she would try to work with you and build a good relationship.

I hope that you would continue to be a good father to this woman's son. But I repeat, insist that the home be kept tidy and at the same time that she tries to get another job. I wish you well.


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