Girlfriend says I am a ‘mamma man’

Dear Pastor,

I am a 28-year-old man and I am living with a 35-year-old woman. She has three sons, ages three, 10 and 16.

I happen to be living with this woman and her entire family, which consists of brothers and a young sister. I have a six-year-old daughter with me.

Pastor, this woman's actions cause me to feel like a complete stranger at times. If something happens and I speak of it, I am called a 'mamma man' and reminds me that she is the woman of the house, and she has a right to be vex, and at times she feels hurt.

I am a businessman. I should have left the country in December, but, unfortunately, that did not happen. I think this woman's 'goat mouth' worked on me. Now I am upset. She once told me that it is her wish that I would not be able to go overseas. Both of us drive. She gets so hyped up over little things. I do my best, but she is always bragging that anything she wants, she gets.

Pastor, I think this woman has brought me down to nothing. I have lots of debt because of her. I take everyone to and from school, and she does not consider that I am spending $30,000 weekly just for fuel. Please give me your advice, because I am suicidal. I can't handle stress. She doesn't try to reason with me about business. She is just holding me down to build up herself.

This woman got three promotions in two months since I came into her life. I think men need to stay away from some women, or date them before getting involved with them. She also wants me to marry her. What would you advise me to do? She curses me in front of her mother or any family member.

H.

Dear H.,

Why did you go to live at this woman's house? You were aware that she had her children, and that it would have been costly living with her.

Her brothers, her sister and mother were all a part of her family. You say she makes you feel like a complete stranger. You were indeed a stranger, and one who did not use common sense. You couldn't have walked into this woman's house and suddenly behave as if everybody should listen to you.

This woman will never respect you, because she sees you as a boy. If you felt that you were in love with her and she was in love with you, both of you should have found another place to live before 'wrapping up' under this woman's skirt and then expecting her to follow your advice. No wonder she calls you a mamma man.

This idea that she put goat mouth on you and caused you not to travel is nonsense. How can a grown man believe such foolishness? I don't doubt that you have been trying your best financially, but you have put yourself under unnecessary strain. Do both of you need to have cars? If fuel alone is costing $30,000 weekly, why have two vehicles? Young man, you and this woman need to sit with a family counsellor and learn to make a budget. But perhaps even before going there, you need to seriously consider if it is wise to continue in this relationship.

Right now, as I see it, this relationship should come to an end. You should seriously consider going back to your mother. You are not ready to be living with a woman.

Pastor