My first love tried to give me a jacket

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 years old and I think I need your help. I am in love with a young woman who is 25 years old. Our relationship goes back to when I was 17 years old. We were neighbours.

Our parents were higglers so they leave to go to the market on Thursday evenings. That is how this girl and I got together. She took my virginity and we swore that we would remain friends forever. Then one day my mother asked me if I was having sex. I told her no. She said that I was having sex because she saw blood on my underpants. My mother told my father that he should talk to me about it. My father laughed and said I was a big man. He told me to be careful. My father bought me my first pack of condoms, and my mother was very angry.

This young woman started to have sex long before me. She was in another relationship with a man who is living in America. He came to Jamaica and he got her pregnant. She tried to put the 'belly' on me. I told my father that from the time he spoke to me and bought me condoms, I never had unprotected sex with her. My father believed me, but my mother didn't. She said that if I didn't 'go there', the woman couldn't call my name. But the child belongs to the man in America. This girl eventually told the truth and we are back together again, but just as friends. Now she cannot find the child's father. He doesn't call her any more and he has blocked her from his phone.

I still love this girl, and I love her daughter. She is very pretty and is of light complexion, like her father. Sometimes, some of my friends tease me because they believe that I have accepted a jacket. But I know the truth. Her mother told me that she is behaving. She is a teacher. I give the little girl gifts, but I know that she is not mine. Sometimes I wonder whether I should get back with this woman, but I am afraid. Thanks for reading my letter. Please give me your advice.

H.T.

Dear H.T.,

I wish you well. When your mother realised that you had become sexually active and you tried to deny it, she knew better. She saw the evidence.

Your father made a big joke about it, but at least he tried to protect you by purchasing the condoms. The young woman had you in her control, but you were not enough for her.

She got involved with a man who lives in America. She knew she lied by saying that you impregnated her. You are fortunate to have a father who was not going to just accept what she said. Of course, a DNA test would have proven her a liar.

I am sure that when people see this child and her complexion, and so on, they would really consider you receiving a jacket. Sometimes it takes a long time for the truth to be revealed. The mother of the child has become a teacher, but her daughter's father cannot be found. One of these days he will surface, so to speak. He will be found.

Nothing is wrong if you give this little child gifts occasionally, but your parents or yourself should not take on the responsibility of supporting her. Be very careful what you do, young man. You have a future ahead of you; plan intelligently.

Pastor