I married the ideal man

Dear Pastor,

When I was a young girl, before I got into my teenage years, I wanted to do great things for Jamaica. My mother used to laugh at me and say I am too ambitious. However, my father said he is proud to hear me talk that way because nobody in his family has ever gone to high school, and they are not ambitious. My father was a farmer and I used to go to the farm with him sometimes. He always wanted me to speak proper English. Sometimes I was not sure what I was saying, but my father used to say it sound good.

I passed my Common Entrance and went to a high school. It was the proudest day of my father's life to see me dressed up in my uniform along with those who considered themselves better than us. Some of the other children laughed at me because they knew my background. However, I studied hard and my teachers encouraged me to do extra lessons, which my father could not pay for. He asked my aunt who lived in England to help him and she sent him the money. I even started to do piano lessons and I loved it. Today, I am an accomplished pianist and I play for my church almost every Sunday.

That same aunt helped me to pay for my GCE subjects. My parents attended my graduation. My father could not stop smiling. He wore his best. After I graduated, I hugged my parents and it was the first time I saw my father cry. I went on to university and there is where I met my husband. When he asked me out, I told him I will have to get permission from my father. He said he was just asking me out, I told him yes I understood what he was saying but although I am in university, my father is still in charge of me.

When I told my father I met this young man and he was asking me out, my father told me that if I trust him, I should go with him. He told me what I should walk with to protect myself in case this man tried to do something that I was not up to. The night of my first date I wanted to do my hair, but I didn't have any money, so I washed it and fixed it up the best way I could. I had a new pair of pants that I had put away. When the young man showed up and saw me, he remarked, 'Is that you?' I said 'Yes, what did you expect?'

my heart said go

We went to the movies and I enjoyed myself. After the movies, he didn't want to take me home. He suggested we could go to a popular spot and I told him no. My heart said go; but my head say don't go. This man and I got married and we have three beautiful children. If I would get married again, I would marry the same man. I gave him a lot of trouble, but he never forced me to have sex with him after he found out about my upbringing. He called me a country girl because I am very much from the country, and I do things the old time way. I did not even know how to kiss. He took my virginity.

I want to say to all young girls, you don't have to follow the crowd. Some of my friends who were in school with me got pregnant early, some are now divorced and married again because they were eager to try out everything the world offered them. I told my children to take their time and to learn to serve God.

Pastor, you do not know me but I know you. You are doing a good job. My husband and I will come to see you very soon.

L.D.

Dear L.D.,

I believe what you are trying to say is that one does not have to follow the crowd. One needs to take one's time and grow up and be obedient to their parents and to set goals and objectives. It is important to have ambition. Some children whose ambition was to be a teacher dreamt about it, and set up classrooms and teach to empty benches. Some spoke to animals and behaved as if the animals were their students.

You told your daddy that you wanted to go to university and have a good profession. He encouraged you all the way and he told you to work hard because no one on his side of the family had gone to high school. I like the fact that you behaved yourself. You didn't get involved with boys too young. And then your aunt assisted your father.

Your mother saw you as a dreamer, but nothing is wrong in having dreams. Martin Luther King Jr said: "I have a dream." Some families are willing to educate their boys. Your father saw great potential in you and worked with you.

You are not the first person to be laughed at by other students. A young lady who had the privilege to attend a prominent high school told me that her grammar was so poor that whenever she spoke to other students at her school, they laughed at her. But that did not deter her form working hard. She studied very hard, graduated from high school, went on to university, did graduate studies and today, she is a professional. So, you ought to be proud of yourself and I am sure your parents and aunt are very proud of you.

I would not mention what your dad told you to walk with on your first date, but you know it worked. The young man who took you out was respectful and kept his hands off you. I wish you well in the future and I wish your children well. Take good care until I meet your family.

Pastor