Think my boyfriend’s landlady is eavesdropping

Dear Pastor,

I am a 25-year-old young woman and I have a boyfriend. We hope to get married sometime in the future but we don't know when that will be.

I have a job, but he is without one. But he is searching very hard for one. I told him that marriage is out of the question until he gets a job. I am paying his rent but I can't make anybody in my family know that I am doing that for him. He used to live with relatives but because he is not working, they told him that he had to leave. I could not see him living on the street.

So I went house hunting with him and found a place that is a single room with a small bathroom and he shares the kitchen with a woman who is 66 years old. It was her helper's room and the helper was living there as a kind of caregiver to this woman's husband. But when the husband died, the lady did not need a caregiver any more so she rented the room to my boyfriend. She treats him like he is her son. She knows that he is my boyfriend and no other girl can go to the house. She says she is protecting me. My boyfriend doesn't like that. He believes that she is watching him.

My folks think that he is working. I don't make them any wiser. My boyfriend used to be a street boy. He knew how to survive on the street. When his cousins told him to leave, he did not even have a bed. The lady rented us the room with a bed. Sometimes when we are in the room together, we feel like she is trying to listen to what we are saying. We are not sure but I told my boyfriend that we ought to buy a bed and lean the old lady's bed in a corner because sometimes it makes noise. It is a spring bed with a mattress.

If my boyfriend does not get a job soon, he is planning to leave Jamaica. I can't allow him to go. I love him too much to let that happen. His sister is planning to help him go into the cosmetic business. That sister lives in Miami and she has promised to buy the goods and send them to him. I know we can get them sold. He is excited about that.

Pastor, I dress my boyfriend and no one will know that he is not employed. The rent is cheap, it's only $12,000 and that is why we can afford it.

Initials Withheld

Dear Writer,

I believe that you truly love this man and that is why you are going all out, so to speak, to assist him. One should not be annoyed with his relatives because they asked him to leave after accommodating him for a while. At least with your help, he has found accommodation in this 66-year-old woman's house. And the rent is reasonable. She says that she is trying to protect you. I hope that both of you will treat this lady with respect. Even if your boyfriend is right by saying she is watching him, she is doing so to protect the relationship that he and you have.

I am not even going to comment on what you said about the noisy bed. I hope that this man's sister will indeed assist him in starting a little business. You can help him to get many customers so I would like to urge both of you to get going on this matter.

Pastor