My boyfriend is yet to propose marriage

Dear Pastor,

I am 29 years old and I am having some problems. I believe that you are the right person for me to relate my problems to. My boyfriend is 27. We are living together because it is the most convenient thing for us to do. Both of us are working, but at times, we struggle to make ends meet.

When I became pregnant, my boyfriend asked his father if I could come and stay with them until after the baby was born. He agreed, but warned him that as soon as I have the child, he should take me somewhere else to live, because he did not want any other woman in the house apart from his wife. Our child is now seven months old and we are living on our own. However, my boyfriend is not saying anything about getting married. All he is talking about is us having another child.

I go to church, but he has stopped attending. He is finding all sorts of faults about the church and its pastor. He is a security officer and he does not have good reasoning ability.

Here is my problem, pastor. I have a male friend who loves me very much. When I became pregnant, he was upset with me because he wanted me to be his wife. I love him more than my child's father. He is living in Canada. He told me he will come to Jamaica and marry me. I am thinking about it. I am not sure what I should do. I am asking you for your advice.

N.D.

Dear N.D.,

It is unfortunate that this young man who got you pregnant, and with whom you are living, is not showing any interest in marrying you. He knows that is what you would want, but he is playing around and talking about getting you pregnant a second time. While he is doing so, an old friend of yours is proposing to marry you, and the dilemma that you face is that you love that other friend more than your child's father.

You should tell your child's father about him. Let him know that this guy is showing interest in you and you are contemplating whether you should leave him and marry this guy. You said you love this other person more than your child's father. I am sure that your child's father wouldn't like to know that you love another man more than you love him.

You can't force your child's father to marry you, but you shouldn't just stay with him and continue to give him the impression that all is well. I am not going to tell you what to do. You would have to make your own decision on this matter.

Pastor