Think my mother-in-law might poison me

Dear Pastor,

I am 27 years old and this is the first time I am writing to you, but I read your column often. I have always said that I would like to sit and talk to you.

I have been married for two years and I am living with my husband at his mother's place. When I met my husband, this woman was very nice to me but after we moved in to her house, everything changed. She wants us to pay all the bills. She is not married but her man friend is always here. She said he lives in America but he cannot marry her until he has settled everything with his wife. He is supposed to give his wife half the value of the house. He is fighting that.

This woman is always listening to everything my husband and I are talking about. I even suspect that she listens when we are making love. Sometimes when we are in our room and we are having fun, she laughs. My husband and I are planning to move and we told her so. She told her son that everything she has is his and he should not let me rule him. But wanting to leave from this woman's place is not ruling my husband.

I complained to my parents and they told me that we should leave. This woman used to do the cooking for everybody on a Saturday, but our relationship has got so bad now that I don't trust her. I am afraid that she will poison me. So I told my husband that whenever he is coming home on a Saturday evening, he should buy me a piece of chicken. She has observed that I don't eat from her any more. So she is throwing words every day. She even talks about the clothes I wash and hang out on the line. She knows the type of underwear I have because she mentions them. She says what I wear can't cover anything.

My husband doesn't have children. I am so anxious for us to move. Both of us are graduates of The University of the West Indies and I never thought that I would want to leave Jamaica. But now I want to get out of here as soon as possible. We are hoping to go to Canada and when we get through, we will tell her the very week we are leaving. She believes in obeah because in her cursing, she said it is obeah that I used to catch her son. I didn't have to work obeah to get her son. Her son never stopped asking me to marry him until I finally agreed.

What advice can you give to us?

Y.R.

Dear Y.R.,

I cannot blame you for not eating from this woman. She is not good. She doesn't like you and you should never take the risk of eating from her. However, you are in her house and if you do not pay her rent, you should not complain about the utility bills. Your husband and you probably thought that you would save money by living at her house. But perhaps you are spending more than if you were paying her rent.

This woman must realise that her son is married to you and you are not obligated to her at all. You should always be respectful and remember always that she is the mother of your husband. So although you should stand firm and tell your husband what you like or dislike about her, make sure you do not say anything negative about her or the man she is seeing.

If at all it is possible, leave her house before your Canada plan materialises. When you have got through, allow or encourage your husband to tell her that you are leaving. You must make sure that you tell her thanks for allowing you to live at her house.

Pastor