Girlfriend’s teenage daughter is a troublemaker

Dear Pastor,

I am in a relationship with a woman who is 15 years my senior. We get along very well, but she has a daughter who does not love me.

She even told lies on me and told her mom that I put question to her. Her mother asked her when that took place and she said it happened one day while she was watching television. It was a big lie. Her mother did not believe her. I am afraid of this little girl. She is 16 years old. Her mother told me that she told lies about another man so I should be careful.

STOP GREETING

I stopped greeting this woman but she kept calling me and pleading with me to come back. My mother told me not to go back to the house unless this woman finds another place for her daughter to live. Her mother has sent her to live with her aunt. She has not been living with the aunt for six months and she accused the aunt's husband of the same thing. The girl is a troublemaker. She does not do well in school. She likes men and she is always on her cell phone talking to men.

Her mother has assisted me in buying a car and she called her mother a fool and she said that I will use the car to get other women. This woman works with a politician and she is very active in politics. I am not interested in politics. I have been promised many things through politics but I am not interested. I would love to get married and settle down in church. Sometimes I wonder whether this woman is too old for me. Plus, how would I get along with her daughter?

C.M.

Dear C.M.,

You are fortunate that this woman did not believe the lie her daughter told on you. She realises that her daughter does not like you and she wanted her mother to break up the relationship with you. Very often young women complain about their mothers' lovers and they are talking the truth. But instead of the mothers dealing with the situation, they curse their daughters and tell them to leave their homes because these women are scared that if they should deal with the situation, the men will stop supporting the homes. But this woman knows that her daughter is a liar and she had complained about another man with whom the mother was involved. She was not speaking the truth then either.

You did the right thing by removing yourself from the home but the woman encouraged you to come back because she wants the relationship. Her daughter is indeed a very terrible girl because she sent her to live with her aunt and she accused the aunt's husband of making a pass at her. She is 16 years old and her mother should take her to see a family counsellor because she has a problem.

You did not give your age but you said that your woman is 15 years older than you. Both of you are considering getting married and you are wondering whether she is too old for you. I would say for a woman to be 15 years older than a man is not significant. But this woman's daughter should at least admit that she told lies on you. Her mother should see to it that she makes an apology to you.

Pastor