Crazy woman trying to break up my marriage

Dear Pastor,

I always read your column. I am just 30 years old. I am writing to you because I am having a problem.

I am a Jamaican, but for the last five years I have been living in America. My wife is in Jamaica. We have a son. I came to America to study, with the intention of returning to Jamaica. When I got here, things became very tough and there were times when I was very broke.

A couple of friends invited me out and introduced me to a woman. She had three children. They were all very young, including a set of twins. She was also divorced. When I just met her, the divorce had just gone through. This woman has helped me a lot, and I told her the truth about my wife. Every time I mentioned my wife, she told me that she was not interested to hear about her; she was only interested in me. So I realised that I should try and keep away from her. If I didn't call her for a couple of days, she didn't stop calling until she got me. She used to drive and bring me dinner.

She told me that I could come and stay at her house on weekends. I did that once and took my books with me. She took away my books and told me that the break would be good for me. I had to turn off my phone, because I did not want my wife to call me and realise that I was not at home. So from Friday evening to Sunday morning my phone was off. I begged the woman to take me home on Saturday night, but she didn't. I had to call one of the friends who introduced me to her to come and rescue me. When he came, he told me that my wife was trying to reach me and she was worried, but he told her that my phone was not working properly.

This woman is much older than I am. She is an American and she is very heavy. To get away from her, I had to pretend that I was not well. This woman went into my phone, saw my wife's number, and called her and told her that I was not interested in her any more. She also told her that she and I were having a relationship. I had to tell my wife the truth and begged her to forgive me. My friends who introduced me to this woman also called my wife and told her that the woman is crazy. She threatened to get me out of the country but she couldn't, because I am legally here. Now my wife sees to it that she sends me money every two weeks. It is hard on her. This American woman is getting alimony and maintenance for her children. She spent some of that money on me. But I do not want to have anything to do with her.

My friends told me that they thought it was just going to be a one-night stand. But this woman wanted us to have a permanent relationship. Now my wife calls me at different times at night to check upon me. I feel so ashamed for what I have done to my wife, but she has promised to forgive me.

A.L.

Dear A.L.,

I am glad that your wife has forgiven you. This woman evidently saw you as a good catch.

She realised that your wife is living in Jamaica and you were alone, so she thought that you could become her new lover. Perhaps your friends did not mean any harm. They thought that you would need company from time to time, and they believe that a normal man needs a woman.

I am glad that you have told your wife the truth. I hope that you would not take any more food from this woman or go anywhere with her. It is not easy to maintain a long-distance relationship, but hang in there my friend, and keep away from this woman. She is big trouble.

Pastor