I don’t trust my stepdad

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you and I hope you would respond. I am 16 years old and I am living with my mother and stepfather. However, I do not enjoy living here any more.

My mother is living with a man; he is not my father. He is only lying on me. I am attending school. He is always looking at me in a very funny way, so I don't trust him. He has never 'put question' to me, but I get the feeling that he wants to.

Whenever my mother isn't around, I don't stay inside the house. I either go outside or call one of my schoolmates to come over and study with me. If no one is available, I go into my room and lock the door. One day, two of my schoolmates-a boy and a girl-came to keep me company. When my mother got home, my stepfather told her that I had a man at the house, making it seem like it was a grown man. We all attend the same school, but my mother fussed at me and said I shouldn't have any boys coming over.

My father is a policeman. I told him that my stepfather seems to have his eyes on me, and he warned me to let him know immediately if my stepfather touches me in any inappropriate way.

I don't like my stepfather at all, and I don't understand why my mother is with him. He doesn't always work, and my mother pays all the bills - including the rent. My father also gives her money to help with groceries and provides for my school expenses. I can't understand why she left my father for this worthless man.

Sometimes, I spend weekends at my grandmother's house, and my father makes time to visit me there. My mother knows I don't like my stepfather. He once told me that I must show him respect because he wouldn't dare touch me. I greet him politely-saying "morning" and "evening"--and speak only when necessary, but I avoid having conversations with him because I simply don't like him.

Pastor, I'm not a rude girl, and I have no intention of disrespecting my stepfather. My mother and I generally get along well, but she sometimes believes his lies. I can't wait to turn 18 and leave my mother's house.

I.T.

Dear I.T.,

You are a teenager and you are a smart one, too. You should know when a man is admiring you and when his intentions are not pure. You should try your very best to maintain good communication with your mother and to tell her what you observe all the time with your stepfather, and she will guide you, hopefully.

Your father is a good man. He has been supporting you; this shows that not all policemen are irresponsible. Surely, your stepfather has not been an irresponsible man.

I wish you well, young lady. May you grow up to make a worthy contribution to society and to make your parents proud of you.

Pastor