Some girl sent steamy text to my man

Dear Pastor,

Let me introduce myself to you. I am 21 and I have a daughter. I got pregnant by mistake.

I told my partner that I was on the Pill and it was the truth, but I did not always take it, so I got pregnant. When I told my partner that I suspected that I was pregnant, he told me that I would have to be crazy. He drove me to a doctor and pregnancy was confirmed. When he realised that I was pregnant, he told me that he felt like beating me up, and if I would not listen to him, he could not have a relationship with me. I cried for days when I realised that I was pregnant and I had promised my parents that I would not allow that to happen to me.

This man and I were friends since I was in high school. He is seven years older than I am. When I met him, he told me that he had a girlfriend but she is too brawling and she does not know how to conduct herself in public. I told him he should teach her but he said also that her mother believes in obeah, so if she had a headache, she would say that somebody doesn't like her and is obeahing her to hinder her progress. He eventually left her and we have a nice relationship.

He was not the first man I had sex with. I had sex when I was 16 with a school friend who forced me to have sex with him. One day after school had been dismissed, only we were around with the caretaker. He told the caretaker that he would give him some money if he would allow us to use the classroom. The caretaker said yes and told him which classroom to use. It was the first time I was having sex but it was not the first for this guy. He was kind of rough and I bled a lot. He was even afraid when he saw how much I was bleeding and he used his handkerchief to help me.

When I got home, he rode with me on the bus and walked behind me to make sure that I was not spotting. I found out that he was having sex with other girls in the school so I told him that we would have to go our separate ways. When I met my present boyfriend and he asked me if I was a virgin, I told him no, but that was it. He did not question me further. I was not going to tell him how I lost my virginity.

I get along very well with my in-laws. They are very nice to me. His mother keeps the baby most days so that I can go to school. I am glad I don't have to fight with the buses. My man takes me to school and if he cannot come back for me, he sends a taxi. The problem I am having now is that I was using his cell phone and a message popped up from a girl. She said ''It was wonderful being with you. I loved what we did and please tell me when we can do it again." I was furious; that sounded as if they had sex. He said he does not know the girl and she might be making mischief. I tried to get back to the person but the message was deleted. I have never known him to have another girl but he is a handsome man and I am not in need of anything. He said he wants three children. I will be graduating from college next year and we planned to get married after that. He is a college graduate and I am very proud of him.

What do you think this girl meant by saying she loved what they did and they should do it again?

A.R.

Dear A.R.,

I do not know what this young young woman was referring to but I would say that it does not have to be something sexual and you have confidence in your child's father.

He has told you that he did not have sex with this girl, so I would suggest that you leave it that way. Accept what he says, but let me hurry to say that there are people who don't like to see a man and a woman who are in good relationship, so they will try their best to break it up. It could be that this girl believes that you would see the message and harass your man about it and finally break up with him. If that was her plan, don't make her succeed.

Stay with your man and continue to work with him. I wish you well in your studies. Take good care of yourself and please take good care of the baby.

Pastor