Boyfriend doesn’t think he gave me an STI

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I am 20 years old and I went out with a man a few times. We have been having sex and I recently began to feel ill.

I went to the doctor and he told me that I have caught an STI. I used to have a boyfriend but we broke up long ago and the man who is in my life now is the only one with whom I have had sex. When I told him what the doctor said, he told me that, whatever is happening to me, I did not get this disease from him, so I should find the man who passed this disease on to me and tell him to go with me to see the doctor. I cried when he told me that I cheated on him because I have never done so. My previous boyfriend always wore the condom.

My present boyfriend refuses to use the condom. He said using the condom causes his penis to go dead. He assured me that he did not have any other woman so I allowed him to have sex with me bareback. Now, to hear him tell me that I did not get this disease from him and I should go and find the man who gave it to me really hurts. I am not that type of a woman. I do not run here and there with different men.

Initials Withheld

Dear Writer,

If your boyfriend does not want to go to your doctor, he should find a doctor, because he needs to be checked out.

It is well known that many women who have got STDIs pick up such diseases during sexual intercourse because, if their partners do not use the condom, these women are the recipients of fluid during sex. Your boyfriend is very silly. He should come clean to you. He should tell you the truth. However, many men who go out and 'fly their kite' don't want their women to know that they have been unfaithful, so they behave as if they have never done anything wrong.

Perhaps your boyfriend is very embarrassed to tell you the truth, but he should. You must now go through the treatment from your doctor and 'lock shop'. Don't allow your boyfriend to even touch you. You have to protect your life. Do not play around with him, and, if this man and you should break up and you have a new guy in your life, don't have unprotected sex with him, even if he gets down on his knees and begs you to do so.

Pastor