I got pregnant on the back porch

Dear Pastor,

I have enjoyed reading your column since I was in my early teens. I am now 20 years old and I am engaged. I am still living with my parents. My fiance is 24 years old. When he comes to visit me, we either have to stay on the back porch or I sit in his car.

My parents told me that it doesn't look proper for the both of us to sit in his car; it is better for him to come and sit in the back porch until he is ready to leave.

One evening, he came and we sat on the back porch and it began to rain. My parents were asleep and we thought my brother and sister fell asleep also. We heard my brother snoring. My fiance and I were making out, and before I realise it, he had my underwear off and we started to have sex. It was very dark because we had the lights off, but my mother woke up and heard the movements and she came and peeped and switch on the lights. When I realised that someone had turned on the lights, I said, 'Please turn the lights off'. My mother replied saying "You all sexing each other right here!"

I was so embarrassed, but she turned the lights off. My fiance and I finish up what we were doing.

In the morning, I was very embarrassed and I begged my mother pardon. I asked her if she had said anything to my father and she said no. I told her that it will not happen again. We thought that we were safe in the dark and we were not disturbing anybody.

It was the rain that kept my boyfriend at the house for such a long time. Pastor, my fiance and I always use protection, but on that night we did not have any. I am now three months pregnant. I am not feeling happy at all because this is not a planned pregnancy. We are due to get married in August. I do not want to have a big stomach standing before my minister, and I would like to fit into my wedding gown.

My fiance is saying that we can postpone our wedding until December, but I have invited relatives who live abroad to attend the wedding in August. When I told my dad that I am pregnant, he asked why didn't I wait until I am married before getting pregnant. I told him that it was an accident.

What do you suggest we do?

L.R

Dear L.R.,

You and your fiance should have controlled yourselves in your parents' house. I remember talking to a young lady who told me that her boyfriend was visiting her, and it was a lonely night. She was a dedicated Christian, very active in her church, and she said she and her fiance started making out. Both of them were turned on. She said, 'Sir, it was just the mercy of God why we didn't have sex'.

There is something about a rainy nights and sex. Lovers seem to be turned on when the rain drops are heard on the roof; it is like music to the ear. It causes one to feel romantic. You and your boyfriend had that experience and both of you thought you were so safe after you had taken off the lights, but the rumbling woke up your mother. What an embarrassment it must have been for you for your own mother to see your fiance and you having sex.

I would not encourage you to change the date of the wedding. Go through with the plans. What you may do is reduce the number of people who you were inviting to your reception. Make your bridal party a small one. After you have had baby, invite your friends and relative to the christening and dedication of the child. On that occasion you may cut a cake and also have a big dinner.

Pastor