Do you know your self-worth?!

As children we are taught that self praise is no recommendation. We are always expected to wait on someone to validate our skill, abilities and talents. If someone very confident, he/she is criticised for not being humble or having an ego.

Personally I think that waiting for external validation is a root cause of many persons lack of confidence and self worth. The idea that everyone has to wait for someone else's approval is not only unreasonable, its impractical - after all its called SELF worth. Another issue with the way we are socialised is that we are expected to be normal and want normal things when the truth is, none of us are normal, we are all little weird.

great advantages

I know it's hard to go against all the adages and warnings that we received as a child about how people view us and how concerned we should be about their opinions, but there are great advantages to being in charge of you own destiny.

There is a power in being in a space where you don't care what people think about you. This is a feat that is not easily achieved but it's possible. Here are rew things you can do be more in charge of you self worth:

1. Get physical - Exercise is a great confidence booster. Besides the health and aesthetic effects, it produces endorphins which makes the body feel very good. Regular exercise is also great for stress relief.

2. Wear clothes that flatter the body you have - The fitness craze has everyone trying to transform their bodies and this can lead some persons to have unrealistic expectations. Having a weight goal is great but be realistic about your progress and enjoy the journey.

3. Learn something new - Mastering a new task is good for the ego, so step outside your comfort zone and try something you never did before.

4. Go dancing - Music is therapeutic and so is dancing, so get your groove on. It doesn't matter what genre or even the location, you can dance alone in your bedroom, just enjoy the feeling and the confidence boost.

5. Don't indulge in negative self talk - Sometimes in an effort to improve ourselves, we focus on our negative attributes and become so negative towards ourselves. So while you work on improving yourself, remember that you have positive attributes as well.

Ultimately you are in charge of how you feel about yourself and what others think about you is none of your business. Recognise your worth and know that confidence is always sexy.

Send your questions or comments to sexychatwithshelly@gmail.com or Tweet me @drsexyann or Facebook www.facebook.com/allaboutthesexy.

Question

Dear Dr Sexy,

My boyfriend lives with his mother and it feels like I am in a relationship with both of them. I am tired of feeling like I'm competing with her for his time and affection. I love him but I can't be a of this weird threesome anymore.

Kelly

Dear Kelly

I know you love your boyfriend but if he's that close to his mother then she's a part of the package. If you cannot accept that fact, then this may not be the relationship for you. Perhaps you should try to find common ground with her so you can actually start enjoying her company. For a lot of men, their relationship with their mother is very close, so if you are involved with such a man you should prepare to come second.

Good luck,

Dr Sexy