Aids Affairs: I want to stop using the condom

Dear Counsellor:

I have a boyfriend and when we just met we both decided that we would use a condom whenever we had sex. However, I have found out that he is a clean man. His body is soft and he smells very clean. He is also very tender with me. In addition, and most importantly he spends a lot of his time with me. I do not see him having time to run around. In truth, I do not think he has any disease. Counsellor, he is so careful, he wouldn't even rub his penis near my vagina without the condom on. I want to stop using condoms because as I said before, he seems to be a clean man and there is really no need for condoms. Is there any word of caution?

Adoring Girlfriend

Dear Adoring Girlfriend:

Your boyfriend may very well know that he would be taking a big risk by rubbing his penis on your vagina before he puts the condom on. Firstly, the fluid that comes out of the penis before ejaculation is likely to get you pregnant if you are not ready to be pregnant; then there is the risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Remember, you cannot tell by looking, so even if your boyfriend looks clean that is not sufficient proof to say he is free from STIs, including HIV the virus that causes AIDS. Unless you are absolutely sure that you are both free from STI/HIV, the condom should be on the penis from the moment the penis is erected and most importantly before any contact with each other's genitals. In the case of the female condom, that can be inserted earlier.

Dear Counsellor:

Each month after my menses sores break out on my vagina near to my anus. I went to the doctor and he sent me to do a test for herpes. I was surprised when he sent me to do such test. Frankly, I would not be going to do any herpes test. I do not see myself infected with any disease. What are the symptoms of herpes?

Clean Lady

Dear Clean Lady:

First, let me encourage you to follow your doctors instructions carefully or get a second opinion. It is always important for you to know whether you are infected with sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Remember that sexually transmitted infections can be serious and must be treated promptly. Therefore, all sexually active individuals should get checked for sexually transmitted infections (STIs) at least once a year, while at the same time using condoms for every sex act to prevent STIs, including HIV the virus that causes AIDS.

For genital herpes, a person may notice itching or pain in the genital area, a burning sensation when urinating, or a vaginal discharge. Usually within a week, small, painful blister like sores appear on the vagina, cervix, urethra or anal area in women and on the penis or around the anus in men. Some persons with herpes may also experience flu-like symptoms (such as fever, sore throat, headache and tiredness). Others may not have any symptoms at all for years.

For more information on condom use, HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections, call the AIDS/STD Helpline at 1888-991-4444 (toll free).