Me and another woman are pregnant for my husband

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 and I am seeking your advice. I am married for six months now and I am pregnant. When I got pregnant I was very happy but now I am feeling unhappy because another girl who is two years older than I am is also pregnant by my husband. I had heard about this girl and my husband having a friendship before we got married but he told me it was not a serious friendship so I didn't need to worry about that. I asked him if he was sure and he said yes.

We went through everything like counselling and the two families got together, his family and my family and the wedding was planned. Sometimes my husband would come home late from work but I didn't realise that he was coming from the girl's house. She knows that we are married and she lives at home with her people so I did not think that my husband would go there after work and spend time with her. It is what I saw in his phone that made me suspicious of him.

I called the girl and she told me that she is pregnant and that if I didn't know that a woman has to share her man in these modern days. I told my husband that I don't want to share him with another woman. I can't stop crying. This man met me in church. If he knew that he did not want to live a clean life, he shouldn't have married me. He tricked me. I feel so hurt. He said that he is sorry.

My parents invited both of us to come to see them and to talk about the problem. He and my father got along well but now he is hiding. He doesn't want to go. He said that both of us can work out our problem. I am going to leave my husband. I have a visa. All my feelings for him are gone. Sometimes I don't even feel like eating. Please give me your advice.

S.J

Dear S.J.,

Your husband's girlfriend is feisty and out of order but your husband has caused her to feel that she can say whatever she wants. If he had not gone to bed with her and if he had shown you respect she would not have passed her place, so to speak. You don't have any feelings for him right now and that is quite natural and what would make matters worse is your husband's attitude towards the situation. He does not appear to be penitent. He should have assured you of his love and begged you pardon for what he has done and assure you that he would end the relationship with the other woman. No intelligent man should allow his outside woman to disrespect or abuse his wife. And I purposely used the word allow. If this woman did not feel that she had power she would not have taken liberty with you by telling you that in today's world women have to share their men. I urge both of you to go see a family counsellor. I also hope that out of respect for your father your husband would go to see him. I could understand that he might feel embarrassed but it is better for him to go and tell him that he is sorry to have embarrassed the family.

Pastor