I got my side chick pregnant

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to get your advice. I am presently going through a divorce. My wife and I have been married for seven years and childless. She seems to be barren. I tried to talk her into adopting a child. She and I are in good jobs. I am in a managerial position. Money is not an issue between us. She says she loves children, but when my brothers' children are around, she doesn't warm up to them.

I am now 50 years old. I got involved with a 29-year-old woman. My wife found out about her because I wanted her to. This girl called me at the house and my wife demanded that I should stop her from calling the house. I did not. I wanted her to be jealous and to see if I could get her to change. It never changed her.

When this young woman said no to me because I am married, I told her that my marriage was not going to work. I lied to her. She does not have a boyfriend, so we slept together and now she is pregnant. My wife insists that I must stop seeing her, but I cannot, so we have decided to get a divorce. She has been harassing the young woman and I am angry about it. Things could have been different between my wife and myself if she had only cooperated with me. I know I am wrong to have an affair, but I need a child.

Why should I work so hard and leave everything I have for nieces and nephews? I told my wife we don't have to have a divorce, but she insists she wants out. For the past seven months I have not had sex with my wife. I still love my wife, but I cannot walk away from the woman who is carrying my child.

M.W.

Dear M.W.,

I wish I could hear your wife's side of the story. Ok, I understand that she doesn't have children and she doesn't want to adopt. There are people who are like that. They don't want to adopt children even though they cannot

conceive.

You say that your wife didn't treat your nieces and nephews well when they came to your house and you believe that she does not love children. Perhaps you were wrong. Perhaps she felt a little jealous and found it difficult to control her jealousy.

Rightly or wrongly, you are going to blame your wife for your actions, but you must always remember that you are totally responsible for what you do. Face it, you are 50 years old. You believe that you are getting old and you had not fathered a child, so you got sexually involved with a younger woman and you got her pregnant. You lied to this young woman and told her that your wife and yourself were not getting along. She believed you and allowed you to have your way with her, and now you want your wife to accept what you have done and continue the relationship. Man, have you forgotten that your wife has feelings? She is a woman. You have embarrassed her and you must admit that what you have done is wrong.

I hope that you would treat your wife with respect and not behave as if she has no right to express her anger or disgust at what you have done. On the other hand, please, sir, treat your wife fairly if indeed both of you decide to go your separate ways.

Pastor