My ex tried to tie me with obeah

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. I hope you can help me. I am 50 years old. I was once living with a woman, but I had to leave her. She believes in obeah, and she was trying to 'catch' me. She wanted me to marry her, but after I found out that she was trying to catch me, I stopped eating from her. My mother is still alive, so I used to go and eat my Sunday dinner with my mother and sister.

This woman spread rumours about me, saying that I was having an affair with my own sister. Whenever my sister called the house and asked for me, she would insult her. I told her if my sister can't call to talk to me, I would leave.

The house we were living belongs to one of her relatives. I was saving to buy one for myself.

'Doctoring' Clothes

Sometimes, when I wore a shirt and I put it in the basket where we keep soiled clothes, she would go in there and take the shirt out. She would take my shirt to her obeahwoman and they would 'doctor' the shirt. Some of the kerchiefs that I used were taken away, and I have never seen them again. I had to leave this woman.

I started to deal with another woman. She wouldn't leave the new woman alone. She even went to the woman's workplace to pick an argument with her. She tried to get my children to turn against me. She doesn't want the children to come my way at all. My son is siding with her, but she hates my daughter, who is my first child. My daughter is 17 years old, and she is telling the girl that she hates her and she must not use anything in the house for her. I am still paying the light and water bills, but I am going to stop.

She wants me to come back to the home, but I am not going back. My daughter is my biggest concern. She doesn't want to live with the lady I am with, but the lady told me that I could let her come. I am not sure what I should do. That's why I am writing to you. My daughter told me that she would rather go and stay with her boyfriend. I was so surprised because I didn't even know she had a boyfriend. I told her to stay right where she is. I will work things out for her.

What do you think, Pastor?

- L. D.

Dear L.D.,

I don't know how you found out that this woman used to take your shirt and kerchief to a person who practises obeah to doctor them. And what do you mean by 'doctoring' them? Whatever she tried to do did not work because you did not remain with her.

It is unfortunate that your daughter is not being treated well and she is tempted to leave and to shack up with her boyfriend. You cannot allow that to happen.

If her mother is determined that she would put her out, then you should ask your mother and sister to take her in. If that is not possible, you may have to let her come and stay with your lady friend.

Your children's mother seems to be going all out to make your life unhappy. It is a pity that you went to live with another woman. You need to settle down and get married. You should also work hard in purchasing your own home. Check with the NHT to see how much you could borrow from them. If you had your own house, your daughter would have felt comfortable going to live there.

Your children's mother is confused. She sees you as a good man and doesn't want to lose you.

You were surprised when your daughter told you that she has a boyfriend. Try to counsel her the best way you can. You know that if she goes to live with her boyfriend, he is likely to get her pregnant. Regardless what happens, do not encourage your daughter to go and live with him.

If you have never been close to your daughter, do let her feel now that you have her best interest at heart and encourage her to go to school. Her mother is not a good woman.

- Pastor