In love with my stepbrother

Dear Pastor,

I have been having sex since the age of 15. I started to have sex with my stepbrother. He was not my mother's child. My mother had a man who had a son, and when my mother went to live with this man, she took me with her.

I had to sleep in the same room with the man's son. He was 19 at the time. I did not want to stay in the same room with him, but the house only had two bedrooms.

For the first week this guy behaved himself. He wouldn't even look at me. But most evenings when he came home from work, he brought me snacks. One day when I was passing him, he slapped me on my bottom.

I told my mother what he did and she said he was only playing with me; he did not mean anything bad, because he saw me as his sister. Sometimes when my mother didn't have money to give me, I would ask him and he would give it to me.

INVASION OF PRIVACY

One day I was changing my clothes and he pushed the door and came inside. I was only in my panties and bra. I asked him why he did not knock. He said he did not have to knock because it was his room, too.

I told my mother and she said I was complaining too much. She said that when I am changing my clothes, I should either lock the door or go into the bathroom.

I told my mother that I did not want to stay at the house. My uncle and his wife said I should come and live with them, but my mother objected.

This man never stopped fooling around me until he got me to agree to have sex with him. He got so accustomed to having sex with me that my mother almost caught us one night.

She came into the room about 10 o'clock to tell me about something after this guy had just left my bed after having sex with me.

One month I missed my period and I told my mother. By that time I was 16. She asked me if I had sex and I didn't answer. She asked me about three times and I said yes, but I didn't tell her with whom.

She said she would take me to the doctor, but before we could go, my period came. She told her man that she suspected that his son and I were having sex. This man told his son that he was old enough to find a place to go and live.

He left and went to live somewhere else with a cousin. But we continued to see each other. I do not hate him anymore. I love him so much. Every day we talk on the phone and text each other.

I don't know what to do. He doesn't want me to have another boyfriend, and I don't want him to have any other girl. I know you will say that I am bad, but I am not. I just don't want to lose him.

V.R.

Dear V.R.,

I must begin by saying that your mother is a very careless and irresponsible woman. When she decided to move in with her man, she should have known that allowing you to sleep in the same room with his son was like 'putting butter in puss mouth'.

When you complained to her about the young man, she should have taken what you said seriously and do something about it.

You say I should not think of you as a bad girl. What I would say is that your mother has made you bad. This young man took advantage of the situation. You were 15, which means that you could not legally consent to having sex.

This man knew you were a minor and planned how to get around you. He softened you up and eventually got you to the place where you found yourself unable to resist him.

Although his father asked him to leave, both of you have continued to have an intimate relationship. This guy has messed up your mind. So, you are his lover, and his father and your mother are lovers.

Think of it, young girl. That cannot be right. That's why you have written me. You are very fortunate that this young man has not got you pregnant, but if both of you don't stop, he may soon do so. End the relationship with him now.

Pastor