Creep fondled me at the beach

Dear Pastor,

When I was 15 years old a guy fingered me, but we did not have sex. One of my classmates had a friend and they were going to the beach; they wanted me to go with them.

So my girlfriend's boyfriend invited one of his friends to go with us. There were not many people on the beach that day. I could not swim at the time, and neither could my girlfriend.

But the guys were teaching us how to swim. This guy took me out into the deep water and I was scared, but I hung on to him. My girlfriend was also hanging on to her boyfriend, but I was enjoying the water, then I realised that he was fingering me. I told him not to do that, but he continued to do so. I became angry with him, but nothing went beyond the fingering.

When we got back to where I could stand up in the water, I was happy to do so and I told the guy that I would never go back to the beach with him or go anywhere with him, for that matter. We sat on the sand talking for a long while until my friend joined us with her guy. I told her in front of him that he was a dirty fellow. He said that he was only playing with me. The guy told him that I was 15 years old so he should not be fingering me. I told him that I was upset.

Now I am 18 years old and this same guy told me that he wants us to have a relationship. I had a boyfriend, but we broke up a year ago. We used to have intercourse regularly. I wish I could get back my virginity; it is hard to know who to trust. My girlfriend told me that what happened on the beach was a long time ago, so I should put that behind me.

T.A.

Dear T.A.,

At 15, you were naive and you were going to the beach to have a good time. This guy had an ulterior motive, but after these years he is back in your life. However, you are 18 years old now and you should know how to handle yourself. When you were 15 you could not swim, so you should not have allowed a fellow to take you into deep waters. Therefore, he took advantage of you.

Have you forgiven him? You may never be able to trust him, and that's the problem. He wants a relationship with you. I am afraid I cannot encourage you to go into a relationship with this man; you never know what he will do. Keep out of his way. He may come back with revenge. He may have a relationship with you and then drop you. Don't go that way at all.

Pastor