Slapped my man when I caught him ‘slipping’

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. I am 25 years old. My parents are Jamaicans and I was born in the United Kingdom. I love Jamaica, and my boyfriend is Jamaican. He is tall and handsome. There is a girl who was my good friend and she swore that she was going to take this man from me. I am not a Christian, but my boyfriend's father is a pastor and he is always encouraging me to become a Christian. I was sharing this with a couple of my girlfriends and this same girl who told me that she would take him away from me, said I should leave him alone because she would take care of him. I told her that would break up our friendship.

Now Pastor, my boyfriend has let me down. This girl invited him to a party and he did not tell me anything about it, neither did she invite me. He went to the party and was carrying on with her while I was fast asleep. Some of my other girlfriends were very upset when they saw what was happening. They called me and I did something that I have never done before.

I got dressed and went to the party and shocked them all. When I got there, I called him to one side and asked him what he was doing there. I knew what I did was wrong, but I slapped him twice. I expected him to retaliate, but he did not. We left the party and took a taxi to my house, and he held me and started to cry. He asked me to forgive him; we made love. But Pastor, I don't know if I can trust him fully again.

M.K.

Dear M.K.,

When this young woman told you that she was going to take your man away, you should have been on your guard. These are the days when women will fight for men, especially if they believe that the men will also take them on. Girls say they have to fight for what they want, and some men like the idea of having women fighting over them. Some women even get into physical fights .

I congratulate you for going to this party although you were not invited. The girl did not invite you to the party because she wanted the time to develop a closer relationship with your man.

I think you took a chance by slapping this man, but I am glad you did not get into a fight with the girl. You drove him away from the party to your house, where he belonged. Some people may call him a wimp, but he is really not a wimp; he probably just wanted 'something extra' and the girl was offering that. It is time to forgive him and move on.

Pastor