Desperate to get pregnant

Dear Pastor,

I am 27 and I am in love with a man who is 30. I love him, but he has not been able to get me pregnant. He said that unless I become pregnant, he will not marry me.

I have been having sex since I was 21 and I have never got pregnant. I have tried different guys. I used to have a man I loved very much. He supported me well. He paid for me to go to college. When I had breaks from college, I didn't even want to go home to see my parents. I stayed with him. For my graduation, he paid for everything. I felt so proud. But, he wanted a child.

I went to several doctors. Some said nothing was wrong with me, I should just wait on time. Eventually, this man and I broke up because he got another woman pregnant. He told me that he will do anything for me, but he cannot leave this girl. I did not want to go back to my parents, so he paid three months' rent for me and gave me all the furniture we had. I call him every day. I told him I could not give him up. I was not angry with him. Even now, occasionally, we will talk or text each other.

Before my current boyfriend, I tried other guys. But none have got me pregnant and we have not used any protection. I have a better job than my boyfriend. I love him but not as much as the other guy who helped me through college. We have been together for over a year. I have two younger sisters and they have children. When they come to see me and I see how happy they are with their children, I feel so jealous.

I am trying to tell my guy that I am going to get twins when I become pregnant. One of my sisters has twins. I will not give up. My boyfriend does not have children and I am concerned that he may leave me if I don't get pregnant.

S.H.

Dear S.H.,

Let me begin by telling you that I understand your problem. I don't want you to condemn yourself. But, I believe that being childless, you do not feel fulfilled as a woman.

Most women would like to have children. Women tell me that all the time. Some women, as you know, got pregnant very early and others have got pregnant very late in life.

I know a woman who got pregnant late in life, but she lost the pregnancy and it caused her much depression. It also affected her husband and they told me that they realised she was carrying a boy. But, months later, she got pregnant again and her doctor kept her in the hospital for almost the entire duration of her pregnancy. She finally gave birth to a girl and that brought tremendous joy to the couple. She did not get pregnant again.

What I am trying to say to you is that it is never too late for a shower of rain. One of my colleagues in the ministry and his wife were married for many years. The doctor told them that they would never have children. They tried and tried, but nothing worked. Finally, they decided to adopt a baby boy. They named him Junior. They took the young child to church and everyone was excited and happy for them. This young mother cared for their son, and as time went on, she realised that she did not see her menses. She went to the doctor and was told that she was pregnant. They ended up having an adopted child and two biological children.

Then, I think of another colleague. He and his wife were married for 12 years before she got pregnant. What am I saying to you, dear lady? I am saying that you are only 27, so you may still get pregnant. I hope that this young man will marry you and that you will just pray, relax and enjoy yourself with your man. Please let me hear from you again.

Pastor