Boyfriend says he needs weed to have sex

Dear Pastor,

I am a 19-year-old girl and I have a boyfriend who is 23. He and my friend were together, but they broke up because he accused her of having other men with him.

I know he was not lying, because I know a couple of guys she used to fool around with, and I used to warn her about them. But she used to go with them to get more money, and the news got around that she was selling herself. Her boyfriend set up a trap and she fell right into it. So, she could not deny it any more. I had nothing to do with it.

When he asked me to be his new girlfriend, I told him no because my friend would think that I had something to do with their break up. He kept asking me and I asked her if she would have any objection. She said no, because she had already moved on. I did not have a boyfriend at the time, so this man and I started dating. The first night we went to bed, I did not like what he did. He gave me money before having sex with me. I told him that I was not selling my body to him. The next time, I realised that he was smoking ganja and we had sex until I felt sore. He could not climax.

I do not know what to do because he is a nice man, but he has to use ganja to have sex. He told me that he has been using weed from he was a teenager. I do not know how to tell this man that I can't deal with him. I told one of my friends that he is not good in bed unless he uses ganja. She said that I should not have him as my lover because his condition may get worse. I do not know if that is true.

J.R.

Dear J.R.,

Some drugs may have a negative effect on a couple's sex life. There are many drugs that are prescribed by medical doctors that can affect one's sex life. Some of these drugs are legal, but there are many that can have a very bad effect on one's sex drive. But you are talking about this man's abuse of marijuana. There was a lady who used to have a talk show on radio, and she always said that lots of these men who talk about what they can do to women would prove to be no good, if they were put to the test. These men only talk to big up themselves and nothing more.

As a counsellor, people have told me the effect that marijuana has had on them. In one session, a young lady told me that when she used it for the first time, she had the best sex in her life. But as she continued to use the drug, she found that it did more harm than good.

Your present boyfriend broke up with his girlfriend because he accused her of having other men with him. You said that she was guilty, and it was because she wasn't getting enough money from him. Now you want to move on because you don't think that he is the type of man who is able to take you on a 'long journey'. He is not the type of man you want in your life.

Even if you plan to break up with this guy, try to encourage him to get help with his drug problem. He should contact the National Council on Drug Abuse. He may contact them at 876-926-9002. I believe that his former girlfriend will laugh at you. But you know what you want out of a relationship.

Pastor