Telephone love left me breathless

Dear Pastor,

I met a man who told me that he loves me. I loved him too, and on the very first night we went out, he wanted to have sex with me.

I told him he was going too fast and that we needed to get to know each other better. He was leaving to go back to America. So he asked me what we could do so that he would know that I love him. I told him to give me his number and when I am at home and everybody has gone to bed, we could talk.

He took me home and at midnight he called me and he carried on with 'a piece of thing' on the phone. He called it telephone sex. He wanted me to take off all my clothes, which I could do because I do not share room with anybody. But I could not repeat the things he told me to say, because I was afraid that my brother, who was in the other room, would hear me.

I asked this man how long he has been single and he said not long because he cannot do without a woman. He is 30 years old. I am 19. This man had me touch areas of my body that aroused me, and I was able to reach orgasm without being touched by him. When he was climaxing, I could hear his groaning. We were on the phone for two hours. By 6 o'clock, he woke me up and told me that he had to get to the airport, but he wanted us to do another round. I told him I did not have the time, but he should call me back during the night. That night I could not do anything because I was combing my mother's hair. I had to turn off my phone.

I have learned a lot from this man. But I don't want to get married to him just yet. I am too young to do these things that he is asking me to do. I told him I want to get an education. He said education has nothing to do with learning to make love and to bring pleasure to yourself.

Pastor, I have only had sex three times. I did not have to do any of these things this man told me to do while I was alone. I love him. He has sent me money and I have been able to buy stuff that I need. Should I continue with him? He is coming back to Jamaica for my birthday. I think I am going to hide from him or change my number. What do you think I should do?

Initials Withheld

Dear Writer,

You did not say how you met this man. But what you have said is that this man is very hot and that he loves to have sex. He is much older than you, and he knows what to do to turn on a woman, even if he is not in her presence.

As I see it, you are not ready for such a relationship. You are 19 and should be concentrating on college work. I think the worst thing you are doing is to accept this man's money. You could do without lots of things.

Tell this man the truth. Tell him you are not ready for the type of relationship that he wants. You don't have to hide when he comes to Jamaica or change your number. Just stand firm and don't allow him to have his way with you. But if you feel that the temptation to be with him will be too strong, make sure that you are never alone with him.

Pastor